Business

Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad cold is all I see at the moment." The resident...

In an ironic illustration of life imitating art it was revealed today that Channel 4 property porn star, Phil Spencer, really did operate as a secret agent in the late 1990's. Spencer's new autobiography 'How...

Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services. Although ATOS, the company used to assess work capacity, has come under fire...

International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist and professional right wing bigot, Katy Hopkins to be burned...

Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he plans to live "au naturel" in a small copse of...

The Royal Bank of Scotland has today announced losses of 7 billion pounds in the fiscal year of 2016. The Bank has been running at a loss of several billion a year since the global...

Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the depleted pockets of the post Brexit British public. Speaking to the...

There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.

Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during Brexit negotiations. Camps are to be codenamed "Grauniad", "Mirror", "Rochdale...

  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the CEO of the bling-to-Bentley store, said, "We had little option...

Reading aloud small words from a Steve Bannon script, President Trump welcomed Prime Minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe, to the famous White House.  After he let go of the stunned Prime Minister’s hand following a...

  White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the lingerie line belonging to President Trump's daughter Ivanka. Spicegirl accused the...

Capitalism is on the verge of a complete irreversible collapse top Economists revealed today with the entire system due to crash, burn, explode and then disappear up it's own arse at any given moment. What's...

A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union. Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a new Mexican startup company,  said, “Once Britain leaves the EU...

Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system. Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald; "It's the job of the sender to pay enough postage to reach...

It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this as a move to demonstrate opposition towards the hate-filled, racist,...