fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

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Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...
Duck

Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks

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Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a...

Fire at Belfast Primark destroys £5.50 worth of stock

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A fire that has gutted a branch of Primark in Belfast has destroyed £5.50 worth of stock. Primark manager, Shaughn O'Shaughnasseigh told us, "This fire...

Boris Johnson to be blasted into space

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The Government has announced that Boris Johnson is to be sent into space as part of its new space program. An insider told us, "We'll...

Church still rich, poor still poor

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Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown. The news will come as no surprise...

Man fined for forgetting to post picture on Facebook of litter he picked up...

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A man has been fined for failing to take a picture of the rubbish he picked up on a beach and post it on...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

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The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...

Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

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Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

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Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...

Hard left protestors to protest Grenfell fire by setting fire to buildings and looting...

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Members of the hard left have announced plans to protest at the Grenfell fire by looting and setting fire to local shops it has...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...

UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.

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The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Teaching Cat

Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer

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Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...

Woman who believes she is British Prime Minister found wandering in Japan

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A woman who apparently believes she is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has been found wandering in Japan attempting to convince people...
Rainy Day

Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle

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Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week. Prisoners in Siberian...

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