Britain First

New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’

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The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...

Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN

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The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is  December for the billionth year...
Builder

Builder finishes job on time and under budget

A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and...

Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”

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Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

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Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...

Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim

After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.  "No one actually thought the plebs would defy...
Sturgeon

Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon

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Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...

Fat Controller to be renamed Big Boned Team Leader in Thomas revamp’

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Anti-bullying & equality campaigners have praised plans by children's show Thomas the Tank Engine to highlight modern issues in the latest series of the...
Fireworks

Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November

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Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed. From London to Liverpool, the...

Interflora agent admits to killing Lady Di in deathbed confession shock

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Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plot In a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on...
Mum Laundry

Busy Mum of four in TWO-wash SHOCK

Working Mum-of-two Linda Green, 43, sorted, washed, dried and folded TWO full loads of laundry yesterday thanks to the heatwave that has swept through...
Lucky Childless Bastards

Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday

A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...

Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team

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UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...

Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

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Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

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We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...

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