Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...

“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...

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A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...

Prince Philip is ‘perfectly fine’ Palace assures public

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HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.  Palace officials were quick to point...
Farage

Please stop comparing me to Hitler pleads bloke who just gave speech to German...

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A bloke who gave a rabble rousing speech to a bunch of Nazis in Germany has put out a plea on social media asking...
Michael Gove

Angela Merkel looking forward to going Interrailing with Michael Gove

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Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments...

Hard left protestors to protest Grenfell fire by setting fire to buildings and looting...

53
Members of the hard left have announced plans to protest at the Grenfell fire by looting and setting fire to local shops it has...

Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn

MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...

Brexit Halloween Threat

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Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

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Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...

Man believes in equality because he has daughters

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A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...

Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder

The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man...

Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery

A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...

Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi

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Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi! In...

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