As several leading Princes amongst Men like Charles Moore of the Telegraph and pre-Prince frogs like Quentin Letts recommend women lighten up, share power with men and not crush them, we hear the Princesses’ point of view.

Leading girl, Anna White, 45, said at some tedious community centre meeting today:

“Is it really too much to ask that we might go to work, or heck, even walk down the street, without constant low level harassment from socially inept males getting flustered every time we walk past, or do something really controversial like picking up a pen?”

Mrs White, who has a cracking set of Bristols, continued:

“Most of us aren’t even expecting to be treated the same.  By all means, celebrate diversity, but a basic bit of human civility will lead to a better working day for all concerned.  Better surely than staring at us like a possible rapist because your expensive all boys school didn’t teach you how to talk to women.”

Pressing her norks into the lectern with just the faintest hint of a clown’s horn noise, A. White pressed her point(s):

“It’s hardly a takeover to ask for simple human rights. For simple dignity. The current orange entity occupying the White House, and the scandals in our own Parliament, are a symptom of America, and the UK, having the worst approach to equality at any point in their history…”

At this, a black woman and some kind of Pocahontas looking senator stared at our reporter. This made us feel a little uncomfortable, so we just assumed their allyship with Mrs White and left the meeting.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?