Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...

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The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
People on bus laughing

Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers

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A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.   Stating confidently that “It is,...

Clock in car mysteriously right again

There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

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Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

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The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

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The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...

Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...

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Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...
Banksy

No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up

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Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
Haggis

Haggis ‘just a joke we play on the English’ admits Scotland

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With Burns Night suppers planned across Scotland tonight, people are gearing up for the annual celebration of everything it means to be Scottish: fine...
Bob Marley

Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion

Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...

Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy

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More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.

Conservative Party campaign back on track after nobody resigns over rape or racism allegations...

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The Tory Party is today celebrating getting its election campaign back on track after it managed to go a full half an hour without...
Neath

Earthquake rescue workers reassured that Wales is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

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Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Neath in South Wales following...
Tommy Robinson

Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws

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Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...

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