David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

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A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...

Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat

A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat. Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Boris Johnson

For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain

The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

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We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...

Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services

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In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of...
hiker

People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...

The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

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WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Car Stuck in snow

Motorist who travelled during red weather alert furious car stuck on motorway for 15...

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There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...

Russian government denies involvement in Aleksandr ‘the Meerkat’ Orlov poisoning

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The Russian government has denied any involvement in the poisoning of Aleksandr 'The Meerkat' Orlov, after the TV star was found unconscious outside his...

You moved a little bit so obviously that means we’re going for a walk,...

A family pet in North Yorkshire has jumped to the conclusion that he is about to go for a walk after his owner crossed...

Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

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