Poppy Seller

Islamic poppies being considered by the Royal British Legion

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Islamic poppies, which would be green, with a white star and crescent, are being discussed by the Royal British Legion. This has predictably stirred up...

Prince Harry condemned for turning up to fancy dress party dressed as Paul Hollywood

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The world had thought that William's half-brother and something-or-other in line to the throne's days of causing controversy were over. But today, a new...

Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

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There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...

More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur

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Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...

Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism

An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude. The...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...
The Queen

Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew

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Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew. In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...

1000’s of tea plantation jobs go as Yorkshire Tea announces it’s moving production to...

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There are fears that thousands of tea plantation workers in Yorkshire could lose their jobs as makers of Yorkshire Tea, Taylors of Harrogate, announced...

Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work

We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...

Make America Great Again

We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

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The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...
Fireworks

Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November

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Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed. From London to Liverpool, the...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...

Michael Gove is still a bellend, says Michael Gove’s mum

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Christine Gove, adoptive mother of Michael Gove MP has come out saying "he is still a bit of a bellend." It comes after the failed...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

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A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...

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