Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections

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The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...

Jeremy Corbyn was a Sugababe – fresh allegations rock Westminster

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was under fresh scrutiny today after it was alleged he was once the fourth member of noughties pop sensations 'Sugababes'. Speaking...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

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The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...
Earl Grey

Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it

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A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible. Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
snowstorm

Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...

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The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...

Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours

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Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...

Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government

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The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Riot Police

Sweaty riot erupts in Leeds after Argos runs out of pedestal fans

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As the temperature hits 25C in Leeds sweaty rioters armed with Soleros and Lyon's Maid Choc Ices are rioting in Leeds Centre and are...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...

Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

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The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...

Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque

Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn urges Labour MP’s to get behind Theresa May or risk making him...

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Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit...

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