Daily Express readers warned to brace for worst winter in 5 billion years

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The Daily Express has reported that Britain is to experience the worst winter for the last 5bn years. John Muir, of Inexact weather forecasting said,...

Damien Green MP makes xxxpenses claim for Porn Hub premium membership

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Allegations have recently arisen that Conservative MP and incumbent minister of the cabinet office, Damian Green MP had been browsing and downloading 'thousands' of...

Daily Express unveils new corporate logo

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The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Ryanair

Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...

New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.

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Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

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Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A...
riot police 2

Starbucks evacuated after customer Alan Akbar orders a coffee

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A Starbucks in Manchester was evacuated today after a man called Alan Akbar ordered a Caramel Frappuccino. Alan told us, "I was out shopping and...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

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As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

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Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...

Woman who believes she is British Prime Minister found wandering in Japan

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A woman who apparently believes she is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has been found wandering in Japan attempting to convince people...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

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Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will...

Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row

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?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...

To a POTUS – a poem by Rabbi Burns

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To a POTUS Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick, that makes the people aw feel sick, who has a little tiny dick and a big red button He's welcome not...

I’ll poo wherever I like, says baby

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6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime. "First I was...

Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life

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Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...

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