White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter

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A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been...

Government launches electric car scrappage scheme to combat CO2 shortage

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In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Snapchat

Ransomware means government absolutely definitley needs to read your Snapchat

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The recent ransomware attack on the NHS and many others across the world definitely means that GCHQ need to read your email, announced...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...

Farage performs volte-face on Europe after Trump-May love in

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Seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has announced he may be in favour of the UK's European Union membership after all. In an...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

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WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...

Britain First’s Paul Golding and the EDL’s Ian Crossland announce engagement

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Shock today as Britain First leader Paul Golding announced he is to marry EDL chief, Ian Crossland. Although the pair often claim to support gay...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...

Southern Rail and RMT make historic deal

The RMT and Southern Rail have finally called an end to hostilities and announced, to the dismay of passengers, that normal services will resume...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

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A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers

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The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....

Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...

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The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

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