Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Ben Fogle quits Animal Park to try his hand at ventriloquism
Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for...
William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April
Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.
Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger
Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...
And now we watch it die, parents tell children after choosing Christmas tree
Families up and down the country are in the slow process of watching their Christmas trees die after putting them up in their living...
Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross
The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon.
A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday.
Sir Paul was the first man to...
Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine
The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.
A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Daily Mail readers hospitalised after inhaling EU migrant gas at Birling Gap
Over one hundred patriotic Daily Mail readers were hospitalised yesterday after inhaling toxic EU migrant gas while innocently sea siding at Birling Gap.
The weather...
Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
