Black Stig

Replacing Burqa with Stig costume fails due to ‘wrong colour Stig’

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As reported yesterday, Muslim women have been on the streets in an adapted version of the burka in an attempt to integrate with middle...

Rochdale Chip Shop In Heartwarming Tale Of Generosity

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The owner of a Rochdale takeaway shop that delivered a bag of brown heroin to an ailing customer, along with their dinner, has said reaction to...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Snobbish man

85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective

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Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective. Eric Pode (40),...

New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.

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Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...
Meghan and Harry

Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...

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As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.  The...
Banksy

No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up

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Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...

Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way

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Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way. Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
Oldham

Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans

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The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
Theresa May

Maggie May announces snap election

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Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election. "Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

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We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

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Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...

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