In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
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"Once I found a tin...
Man still wearing shorts admits his legs are cold
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Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...
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Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
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Prince William’s asking about legalizing drugs “for a friend”
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Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview
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Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...


















































