Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...
Audi A5

Audi driver denies allegations he used indicators

An Audi driver from Rochdale has denied allegations that he used his indicators whilst driving on the M62 last Tuesday morning. At least one woman...
Theresa May Christmas

Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children

0
Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...

Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...

0
The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

0
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

0
Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

0
The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

0
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto

0
A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...

Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections

0
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...

Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police

0
In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...
Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

0
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...

Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque

Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts