Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors
The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky.
A spokesman...
People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes.
"People who 'tell it like it...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person
Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation
Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez.
As the son of a...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew
Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew.
In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...
KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe
KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu.
Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up
Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet?
Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...
Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm
The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...
Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
