Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean
Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
Fat Controller to be renamed Big Boned Team Leader in Thomas revamp’
Anti-bullying & equality campaigners have praised plans by children's show Thomas the Tank Engine to highlight modern issues in the latest series of the...
William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April
Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode
The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt.
The, ironically...
Woman who said she’s fine really is fine
In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...
Daily Mail Editor suspected stroke after Muslim Immigrant awarded Knighthood in New Year’s Honours
The Editor of the Daily Mail is in a critical condition today after learning that a Muslim has been knighted by the Queen in the New Year's Honours list.
SHOCK after politician caught watching NORMAL PORN featuring adults
A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...
Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out
A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu.
A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation
Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez.
As the son of a...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday.
Lord...
