What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors
The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky.
A spokesman...
Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN
Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes.
"People who 'tell it like it...
Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person
Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation
Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez.
As the son of a...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe
KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu.
Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA.
During the announcement...
Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled
The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...
Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it
A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible.
Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew
Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew.
In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...
No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up
Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet?
Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...
Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
