Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN
The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is December for the billionth year...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday.
Sir Paul was the first man to...
Royal baby has already earned more than you
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time.
The new prince, who was...
UKIP Conspiracy theorists claim Paul Nuttall is being erased from history
UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators.
He recently had to...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
Big Ben chime to be replaced with Islamic Call to Prayer
London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, “I welcome the decision by parliament to allow London’s rich culture to be reflected in its most loved landmarks. We all know and love Big Ben’s regular chimes and I am certain Londoners will come to appreciate the melodic chant of the Adhan five times a day.”
Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday
A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out
A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...
Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour.
Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…
In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today.
The Pope was...
