Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey.
"Once I found a tin...
Man fined for forgetting to post picture on Facebook of litter he picked up...
A man has been fined for failing to take a picture of the rubbish he picked up on a beach and post it on...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Northern woman puts heating on
A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October.
Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported
The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion
Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...
Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...
In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite
The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks
A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...
The Queen is afraid Donald Trump will leave orange residue all over Buckingham Palace...
The Queen is afraid of the orange mess Trump will make during his visit.
The President of the United States, Donald Trump wants to meet...
Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
If we didn’t hunt foxes, horses would only do it themselves
An avid fox hunter has spoken out against the notion that his chosen 'sport' is in any way cruel to fox, hound or horse.
Sir...
Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G
Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G.
Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told...
