Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

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Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Rochdale-missile-launch.jpg

Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED

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Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...

Country that burns effigies of a Catholic annually upset by statue damage

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A country that in the year of our Lord 2020 still thinks burning Catholics is a family friendly November evening out, is upset by...

Santa Claus Denied Visa to Enter UK

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The Herald has discovered that father Christmas has been denied a visa to enter the UK on Christmas Eve, amid fears he may decide...

Which filthy johnny foreigner should you blame for Covid-19?

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All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex...
Chemistry

Everyone on Facebook expert in analytical chemistry all of a sudden

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Everyone on Facebook is now an expert in analytical chemistry it has been revealed. The news comes after scientists at Porton Down revealed that they...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...
Spa Day

Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

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Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Votey McVoteface

Esther McVey resigns to spend more time with other people’s families

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Esther McVey, a former television presenter and now a falling star in Westminster, relishes her career - but admits to no regrets in her...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...
Teabag

Teabag enters second month on little plate by kettle

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

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We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Prince Andrew to release sex tape

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Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...

Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants

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The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit. Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...
Farm Animals

Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion

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Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...

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