Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat

A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat. Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Entrenching Tool

Digging f#*#*#g foxholes is new black in today’s British Army

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The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst...
Kate and William

New royal baby to be called DIANA and raised as a GIRL

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Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and...
The Queen

Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew

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Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew. In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

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Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...

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There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...

Arsonists shocked building they set on fire is burning

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A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set fire to...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

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WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...
Daily Mail Readers

Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person

22
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

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A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...

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