The BBC has confirmed that should Jeremy Corbyn win the General Election he intends to sell peoples cats to fund a statue of Lenin.
The report is confidential but has been seen by the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg. In it are details that Jeremy Corbyn will stalk up and down the country at night abducting peoples pet cats and keeping them in a massive sack. He will then sell them to international glove puppet companies that will use them in experiments. Mr Corbyn will then use the profits to commission the largest statue of Lenin ever seen and have it erected in Downing Street.
A BBC spokesman said, “The report says that the first cat to go will be Larry the cat. Then Mr Corbyn will prowl the streets of London before moving to the Midlands the North then Scotland. The statue will be made of Bronze so it will be quite expensive.”
Whilst a Labour spokesman denied the allegations the BBC interviewed Tom Watson in a pub. He said, “Labour are suppressing this knowledge because they know it will be damaging. But, should he win, then voters need to be aware that he will turn your cat into a tote bag.”
