Ransomware means government absolutely definitley needs to read your Snapchat
The recent ransomware attack on the NHS and many others across the world definitely means that GCHQ need to read your email, announced...
Tim Farron forced to hand over lunch money during visit to primary school
Tim Farron has today visited a primary school in Bacup in an effort to convince voters that the Lib Dems absolutely, cross their hearts hope...
Prime Minister to help poor by donating fox meat to food banks
Theresa May has today unveiled plans to improve the diet of malnourished children in areas with high levels poverty.
"This is a great policy that kills...
Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph
Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry
f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at
all orchestrated and not tailored...
Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto
Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban.
This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle
The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by...
Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’
The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses
A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...
Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day
Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day.
“Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment
Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip.
However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...
Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh
Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed.
“It’s the perfect job, really,”...
Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit
An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration
"Oh...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
