The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now it turns out it’s all about hats.

Despite being the husband of the Queen, he’s been allowed to sit on a throne for 65 years but he’s fed up with not getting his own sparkly hat.

“It’s a disgraceful state of affairs,” he told the Rochdale Herald. “I mean, by definition a Queen is the wife of a King, not a Prince. How would it look if when Charles takes the throne, Camilla is . . . OK, bad example.

When William becomes King, to you think Kate is going to be called Princess? Do you think she’s not going to get her own sparkly hat. Of course not, she’ll be the bloody Queen! And yet they keep on calling me Prince. It’s nothing short of sexism! And I’ve decided I’ve had enough, so you can jolly well carry on without me!”

Well, he could have a point. It is an unusual linguistic discrepancy. Of course, coming as it does from the world’s most famous casual racist, it is also more than a little ironic, a point that is lost on nobody, except perhaps Alanis Morissette.