National News

Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day. “Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur Witt, “I didn't hear nuffing about Saint George's day the...

The world had thought that William's half-brother and something-or-other in line to the throne's days of causing controversy were over. But today, a new scandal is threatening to envelope the Crown. Shocking pictures have...

Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of the Welsh Assembly will continue to be ignored by Westminster. Wales,...

Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor value of the pound, they were unable to procure enough...

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that they will be supporting Brazil in the football. Artemisa Yousir, originally...

A leather jacket being worn by an overweight middle-aged northern bloke is utterly failing to make him look cool. Steve Dickinson’s faux vintage black leather biker jacket from Superdry is supposed to make him look...

The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques. In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny weather has really helped the economy. With much better growth...

Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.  It was standing room only in every single gym in the country with many people experiencing queues of...

In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already visited. On Tuesday night, the Foreign Office issued a worldwide travel...

After spending the long winter months in a hibernatory slumber, the nation's middle-aged men are getting all silly over news that the first hardware superstores and garden centres have been spotted migrating back to...

It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of popular 1980s game show 'Bullseye'. The British pair, Dominic Raab and...

The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and the tragedy at the Grenfell tower block. Nevertheless, the Herald has...

Men across the globe will celebrate International Men's Day today by being completely oblivious to the fact that it's International Men's Day. The annual event, which seeks to promote positive role models, gender equality and...

A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who fought at Arnhem despite being 2 years old at the...

6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime. "First I was like ooh, I poo then you change my nappy, it's...

The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill judged drunken Tweets last night. Within them he also stated that victims...