A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views.
Cal Low, who fought at Arnhem despite being 2 years old at the time said, “I was shocked when I saw the news. How can noble British soldiers be part of a group that fetishises Nazism? Don’t they realise the army fought against the Nazis. They’re obviously British patriots which means they can’t be Nazis. I think it might be a conspiracy by the BBC to discredit the army.”
A spokesman for the army told us, “When you look at where we recruit the majority of our squaddies from it’s the same place as National Action recruit from. Really we’re often competing for recruits in these areas. Is it any wonder that we have in our ranks the scum of the Earth?
You only have to ask a teacher or youth worker. Many of the people who become squaddies are the same people who beat people like Cal up at school or set fire to things for the fun of it.
Cal obviously labours under the delusion that we take these recruits, put a uniform on them, make them do a bit of marching and they turn into Michael Caine in Zulu. The truth is we don’t want Michael Caine in Zulu. We want Begbie out of Trainspotting.”
A spokesman for the MOD told us, “It’s strange that people are suprised. The adverts suggest it’s some sort of Club Med 18-30 job with added guns, but really we’re recruiting people to kill for little more than minimum wage. Not only that, but they need to be prepared to be permanently maimed or killed. You should expect some bad apples.”
Cal Low says he intends to spend this weekend in Aldershot enjoying the company of the noble squaddies there.
