Korean

South Koreans and Londoners in agreement that it’s “grim up north”

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South Koreans will similarly be asked to stand on the border with their own north and use megaphones to shout at their alienated relatives that they think they have it hard, they could try living in Rochdale.

People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day

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People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today. Cliff Edge told us, "I got...

Blairite Entryism Not A Big Deal, Insist Blairites

It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the...

The woman who managed to get thirty hours free childcare from HMRC to enter...

The woman who managed to get thirty hours free childcare using the HMRC has been thrown out of MENSA for being “too clever” and...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

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One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...

Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim

After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.  "No one actually thought the plebs would defy...

Corbyn denies ‘pineapple on pizza’ allegations during lunch with genocide denier

3
Jeremy Corbyn today strenuously denied having pineapple on the pizza he shared with Assad Supporting, Genocide Denier and all around Russian puppet Marcus Papadopoulos....
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

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The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest...
Theresa May

May To Wheel Out Trebuchet

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Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf". The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
Bank of England

Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die

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Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

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Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...

Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun

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Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...
Rees Mogg

Man with six kids reckons he knows more about withdrawal method than some woman

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The latest Etonian voice of the people, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is convinced that his Catholicism gives him the the edge on some woman Jacob Rees-Mogg, who...

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