Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months

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Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Boris Johnson

Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head

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A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
David Davis

Brexiteers demand Government grants cognitive dissonance settled status

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Brexiteers have demanded the Government grant settled status to cognitive dissonance. The demands come as many companies that employ lots of people in Britain...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Satire Aid

The Big Fat Secret Santa – Satire Aid 2018

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You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children. Well it really, really...
Britain First

New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’

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The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

Country that burns effigies of a Catholic annually upset by statue damage

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A country that in the year of our Lord 2020 still thinks burning Catholics is a family friendly November evening out, is upset by...

Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses

A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...

Thomas Cook Launch “40% Off Term-Time Holidays” Voucher

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Holiday giant Thomas Cook have taken action after coming under pressure from the Government and consumer groups over the price of family holidays...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
Christmas Presents

Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa

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Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

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The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...
Banksy

No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up

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Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...

Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork

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The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.

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