We’re showing some restraint, how about the rest of you try it
Like most of the country, the Herald woke up this morning to the news of a catastrophic tower block fire in West London. This...
First shipment of British thoughts and prayers arrives in Barbuda
A cargo plane has touched down in Barbuda, carrying the first consignment of thoughts and prayers from the people of Britain.
The jet touched down...
Prime Minister Theresa May autobiography to be made into a feature film
Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...
British vegetarians declare tuna a vegetable for the sake of everyone’s sanity on Spanish...
The Royal Society of Being Scared of Food, which has represented vegetarians for over forty years, declared tuna a vegetable today for the purpose...
Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere.
Right wing nutjob...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Fire at Burnley Art School causes pounds worth of damage
Yesterday's fire at the Burnley School for the Arts has caused £500 worth of damage. Early indications are that the bus stop is irreparably...
People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported
The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the...
Vote leave caught cheating at tombola
The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola.
It turns out...
Fears for local man missing in Ikea
Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days.
Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...
Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.
A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness.
Poppy Cox had...
Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
March Against Hate Wins World Irony Cup
The World Irony Championship has been cancelled for 2017 after anti-Muslims calling themselves UK Against Hate held a march against extremism.
“We normally wait until...
Wales announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022.
Cardiff will be the first City in Wales...
Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.
A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
