Snake

Senior Tories want to change party logo from tree to ladder to attract more...

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The Conservatives may be about to dump their current tree logo and replace it with a ladder. In 2006, the Conservative and Unionist Party dumped...
White Van

White van man smashes World Land Speed Record

A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van. The news that Jamie...

Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends

4
Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...

Baxter, president of Dogs, issues chilling warning to Felix, Beloved Leader of the Cats.

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President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in...
Theresa May

Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place

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The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election. An inside source...
BMW

300,000 BMW recalled after being found to contain faulty drivers

BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars...
Moving House

Unwanted crap in loft briefly sees light of day during house move

A VHS video recorder that has been languishing in the loft of a house in Middleton briefly saw the light of day this afternoon. The...
Theresa May

Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected

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The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.  A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...

Virgin customers asked to dig deep for pensioner’s destroyed home

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Devastated pensioner Richard Branson, whose home was destroyed by Hurricane Irma, has been overwhelmed by Virgin product customers who have agreed to continue to...
Hangmans Noose

Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto

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The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...

Brexit Halloween Threat

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Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

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Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...
Unhappy Man

Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year

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As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...

Daily Mail editor collapsed after not using racial slur to describe Prince Harry’s...

The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.

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