Cummings reveals he was attending Durham Pizza Express
Dominic Cummings has dramatically revealed that he was visiting Durham's Pizza Express on the advice of Prince Andrew.
In a televised interview Cummings said, "I...
Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake
A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED
Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...
Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed.
Fluffles the cat, from...
Thomas Cook Launch “40% Off Term-Time Holidays” Voucher
Holiday giant Thomas Cook have taken action after coming under pressure from the Government and consumer groups over the price of family holidays...
Office tea expert ‘just sad’ reveals study
It was confirmed today that people who make a song and dance about brewing and drinking tea are among the saddest characters in any...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people
A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people tonight.
Barbara...
Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis
The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...
Chinese cardboard rocket manufacturers report bumper earnings following Korean military parades
Manufacturers of gigantic cardboard rockets and inflatable tanks have reported record profits for April following Kim Jong Un's massive display of military force.
"It's been...
King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony
Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
