Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto
The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto.
Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...
New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...
New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.
Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary.
This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Theresa May – the facts
Theresa May - the facts
She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10
2. She...
Northern Shithole Celebrates UK Capital of Culture with Pie and Peas and a Knobbly...
About 60,000 people came out in Hull to watch a Burger Eating Contest & Arm Wrestling show to mark the start of the city's...
Husband remembers to do thing
There were ecstatic scenes in Rochdale this afternoon after a Middleton resident remembered to do the thing he'd been asked to do earlier in...
Social Media punishing the pound in Postal workers pockets
With the rise and rise of Facebook, E-Cards and Internet banking the way we celebrate important events with family and friends is fast changing.
Nowadays...
Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...
In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched.
It...
Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings
After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC.
Mr. Henry was the...
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Haggis ‘just a joke we play on the English’ admits Scotland
With Burns Night suppers planned across Scotland tonight, people are gearing up for the annual celebration of everything it means to be Scottish: fine...
Man adamant he wanted nowt for Christmas now angry and petulant he got what...
An angry Rochdale man who swore to friends and relatives he wanted nothing except "maybe a skip" for all the stuff he already owns...
