Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy

A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Cat

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

2
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Nun Fanny Nicentite

Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof

A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
School class

PARENT’S FURY AT COMPULSORY ARABIC LESSONS AT ROCHDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL

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Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons. Many parents believe that forcing their children...
Cyclist

Man attends Halloween party dressed as cyclist

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A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan...

Smug Husband packs Christmas shop into fridge

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A smug father of two from Bolton has taken the plaudits of his close friends and family as he managed to pack away all...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

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Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...
Rochdale Riverside

Rochdale unaffected by US Government shutdown confirms Council chief

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Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the...
Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

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  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...

Local man feels a right twat after putting his back out in the gym

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Local man Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) put his back out this morning in the gym whilst trying to get fit for a...

Homeless Bloke says Stop buying me McDonald’s, I’m homeless not f***ing desperate

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A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals. David Wild...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

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A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...

War of the Roses: The Rematch

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Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of...

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