‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner
An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size.
The cat explained...
Man thanked for countless gifts he had no knowledge of purchasing
A man has been repeatedly thanked and kissed by family and friends for Christmas presents he was unaware of purchasing, despite paying for every...
Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass
Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...
Inheritance should be spent on chardonnay and cruises not care says Rochdale man
Rochdale man Martin Williams has spent today in his local pub attacking the 'Tory Death Tax'.
Williams 48, told the Herald, "It's ridiculous. My mum and...
Local patriot spends £25,000 turning his head into a giant POPPY
With Remembrance Sunday just under two weeks away, a Rochdale man has made what he regards as the ultimate sacrifice in honour of our troops - by having his head...
Rochdale TV Company Suffers Latest Blow
Executives at Rotherham based media company Hot Pot Productions were left floundering today after yet another blow, the announcement that their flagship production, a...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Child believes summers are warm and England are good at football
Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth
There are certain core truths you learn...
Local luxury goods firm goes bust
High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign.
Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...
It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news.
"It's...
Rochdale Police Find ‘Lost’ Horse in semi rural area
Reports from GMP Rochdale are somewhat vague to say the least, so the minimum we can assume from the information supplied is the horse is somewhere...
LATEST – Burnley moves even closer to life in colour
Residents of Burnley moved one step closer to a life lived in colour this week.
The Rochdale Herald recently reported Burnley...
Rochdale Residents excited at house price rises in Post-Apocalypse Britain
Rochdale residents are said to be very excited by the prospect of house price rises for the first time in almost a century in...
