DNA analysis of white poo on Rochdale street reveals that it comes from a...

2
Experts tracking down rogue dog owners in Rochdale came up with the shocking news that prehistoric species are alive and kicking. What's more, the...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

EDL firebombs PC World in Rochdale town centre

1
The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.  The trouble began...

Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed

10
A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed. “He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...

Miracle Declared As TK Maxx Customer Finds Acceptable Pair Of Jeans

1
A TK Maxx customer in Rochdale has described his purchase of a pair of jeans that look acceptable and fit perfectly as “nothing short...
Farage in Russian hat

Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium

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Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.  The news was...

Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage

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The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...

Russian Athletes urine has street value of £2,000 per fluid ounce 

0
Forget crack, heroin, spice and cannabis the latest drug to hit the streets of Rochdale is quite literally taking the piss.  The liquid shot called...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
Golfer

Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...

2
Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall in surprise bid to become MP for Covfefe

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In a move which has delighted the electorate of Boston and Skegness, Nuttall has transferred his allegiance. Nutcase claims divine intervention: "According to the Gospel of...

Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver

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A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

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In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an...

Fears for Missing Dog as owners reveal ‘he just wanted to know who’s a...

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There are fears for the safety of a missing Rochdale Golden Retriever who is reportedly suffering an "existential crisis."

Stockport Town Centre awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

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There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World...

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