Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

Hull favourite for Turner prize for ironic depiction of City of Culture

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Kingston Upon Hull has been tipped by the bookies to win the Turner Prize for Irony this year. The famed port city and its people...
Rochdale Riverside

Rochdale unaffected by US Government shutdown confirms Council chief

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Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the...
theresa nay laughing

Only two Prime Ministers until Christmas

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It may only be July but there are only two Prime Ministers until Christmas. That's according to the British Christmas Monitoring League. The warning comes...

Man who’s spent last 4 years banging on about Blitz Spirit buys 70 bottles...

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A Rochdale resident who regularly invokes the Blitz Spirit has been out an panic bought 70 bottles of hand sanitizer today. Bill Board regularly greets...
Water Treatment

Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...

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Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption. Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

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Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...
Rochdale

Violent scenes erupt in Rochdale

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Violent scenes today in Rochdale as the public demonstrated their extreme anger that Honey G remains in the X Factor, while genuinely talented people haven't bothered...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

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A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...

Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.

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Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter. A regular at Rochdale's...

Rochdale couple speak of leaving embarassing ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg’ phase

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Two grandparents from Rochdale have spoken about emerging from the embarrassing 'Jacob Reees-Mogg' phase of their life. Orla Board told us, "We'll look back at...

UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface

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Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...

Christmas Miracle declared after BMW driver regains sight after parking in disabled spots

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A Christmas Miracle has been declared after a disabled man was completely cured after parking his BMW across two handicapped parking bays at Rochdale Waitrose.

Archbishops To Sue Builders Over Health and Safety Gone Mad

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A group of five Archbishops of Canterbury are to sue the building firm Klumsi 'n Fook.  Klumsi 'n Fook, were carrying out renovation works on...

Middle aged man pulls off the double denim look

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A middle aged man from Halifax has done the impossible and pulled off the double denim look. Glenn Clarke, 53, from Bury in Lancashire, a...
Fission Chips

There’s a bloke works in our chip shop and he swears he’s Kim Jong...

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A Rochdale fish and chip shop owner has been telling us how one of his employees is convinced he Kim Jong Un. Ray Fry told...

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