DNA analysis of white poo on Rochdale street reveals that it comes from a...

2
Experts tracking down rogue dog owners in Rochdale came up with the shocking news that prehistoric species are alive and kicking. What's more, the...
Woman and Cat

My cats are like my children, says woman whose cat raped stranger in bush...

A woman whose cats regularly rape strangers in bushes on nights out has insisted that her cats are like her children. Part time hairdresser Barbara...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

Britain’s first Dog Fighting arena to get go ahead in Rochdale

3
The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

Sock Finds Owner as Appeal Goes Viral

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Derek Winstanley of Rochdale was today emotionally reunited with his sock after a heart-wrenching appeal went viral amongst bored middle-managers & housewives who wanted...

Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry

Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
Man reading book

Man who only ever reads Jeremy Clarkson books outraged about Jane Austen appearing on...

6
A Rochdale man who only ever reads books written by Jeremy Clarkson has voiced his anger about Jane Austen appearing on the new £10...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Panic as rebel Corbynistas take West Didsbury

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Residents of the leafy south Manchester suburb of West Didsbury were forced to spit their skinny lattes out in shock this morning after the...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

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Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II

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Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...

SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble

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The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising...

Local commuters in conversation horror near miss

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One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation. The incident,...
Dickheads with fireworks

Getting pissed and setting off fireworks near children is dangerous, experts warn

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Dickheads armed with fireworks have been urged to “please not kill anyone” this bonfire night, as it emerged how pissing about with explosives after...
angry

Inheritance should be spent on chardonnay and cruises not care says Rochdale man

Rochdale man Martin Williams has spent today in his local pub attacking the 'Tory Death Tax'. Williams 48, told the Herald, "It's ridiculous. My mum and...

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