Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

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Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Rochdale paramedics

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

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Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. So far emergency services have rescued 10 people, including an...
Cat

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

2
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...

Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero

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Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...

New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’

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The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Border collie describes his life as a series of trials

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Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...

Local patriot spends £25,000 turning his head into a giant POPPY

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With Remembrance Sunday just under two weeks away, a Rochdale man has made what he regards as the ultimate sacrifice in honour of our troops - by having his head...

Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back

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Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain. Dr...
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

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Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...

EU kebab ban receives chilli reception in Burnley

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The EU move to ban phosphates in donner kebabs has sent a shockwave through the British culinary world. Keith Braithwaite, local restaurateur and winner of...
Hideous Bathroom Suite

Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all

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A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided...

Rochdale spies suffer eye strain after being exposed to local man’s tackle

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Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints...

Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit

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Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

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A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...

Middle aged man pulls off the double denim look

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A middle aged man from Halifax has done the impossible and pulled off the double denim look. Glenn Clarke, 53, from Bury in Lancashire, a...

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