Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver

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A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

No Segs Please, We’re Rochdalians

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Barmy Council Imposes Blanket Blakey Ban Rochdale Metropolitan Borough Council have imposed a blanket ban on Segs, the popular metal footwear protector, following complaints from the...

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...

Salem trial lawyer says he’ll never work no win no fee in village again

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“I’m very upset. This doesn’t seem fair. I did hours on this nonsense.” Rooster added. “I’d say my earnings went up in smoke, only that wouldn't be accurate, as they hung my clients, all nineteen of them. The bums.”

Man buys Polaroid Camera takes 40 pictures of his genitals and hands them to...

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A Burnley man has been explaining why he bought a Polaroid Camera over the weekend, used it to take 40 pictures of his own...

Breakfast means breakfast as new café opens in Rochdale

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The Breakfast Club Café offers a selection of options, including a Hard-Boiled Breakfast and a Red, White and Blue Breakfast. We spoke to proprietors Frankie 'Chubz'...

Hipster admits it is “exhausting” being a tool 24/7

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Every now and then a new fad will infect society and be scoffed at by decent people, until it fades away into the abyss,...

Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy

A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Rochdale paramedics

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

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Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. So far emergency services have rescued 10 people, including an...
Burnley

Burnley twins with itself

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After an extensive search, the Burnley Council has decided that the town best suited to twinning with Burnley is Burnley itself. "We hired a consultant...

Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero

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Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...

Woman With Book Arrested Under Terrorism Act

A 27 year old woman was arrested and briefly detained by South Yorkshire Police after a Thomson  Airways cabin staff member spotted her reading a...

Gracie Fields sculptor accidentally sent picture of David Jason

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It's embarrassing - said Councillor Dale Whiting. "It's supposed to be our tribute to the legendary Gracie Fields but it looks like Del Boy....

In wake of America and North Korea tensions Rochdale man hoarding bottlecaps

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Concerns have been raised by the family of Jim Watson, 24, of Heywood after he hasn't been seen for the last week and a...

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...

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