Local News

A 'suspicious package' that led to the evacuation of Burnley General Hospital earlier today has been identified as a basket of fruit, according to hospital officials. Over two hundred patients had to be escorted out...

Great news for Rochdalians! As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station! The new platform - actually a half platform half bay thing: a bayform or a platay?...

Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive. He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an optimum diagonal route between his front door and his gate...

Bearded men around the country joined together in a collective shudder yesterday as they were tagged in yet more increasingly irritating, abysmal and completely unfunny 'beard decoration' posts on social media. Most of the pictures...

This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size. The cat explained that it will gladly kill and eat just about any...

Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the exact symptoms of sunstroke, the search engine has given up...

A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan Still's Halloween party on Saturday night dressed in a cycling...

With Remembrance Sunday just under two weeks away, a Rochdale man has made what he regards as the ultimate sacrifice in honour of our troops - by having his head turned into a giant POPPY.  Darren Fudd, 42, paid over £25,000 for the transformation, which took...

A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided not to renovate their kitchen. “We were thinking about spending thousands...

Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints of Carling. Higglesworth, described in court as being of no fixed...

The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said, "Poppy day is my favourite day of the year. I...

Hundreds of Burnley schoolchildren are now aware of the existence of deodorant thanks to the recent playground craze. The craze involves spraying deodorant from a can onto bare skin until the recipient can no longer...

At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a report anti social behaviour. Reports since indicate that fighting had broken...

It may only be July but there are only two Prime Ministers until Christmas. That's according to the British Christmas Monitoring League. The warning comes as many Britons are still enjoying long evening, warm temperatures...

A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant. Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list by a waiter because he's a bloke and is now...