Local News

Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision...

The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

Rochdale council have taken the unusual step of issuing a plea for help from residents, especially those further out of town to leave their...

Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints...

At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...

Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...

A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant. Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list...

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...

A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God...

A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board...

A man from Rochdale who refers to himself as an 'alpha-male' is in fact just a bit of a dickead sources have revealed. The news...

An iconic Rochdale landmark built in the 14th Century has reopened after it was obscured from the public for over a hundred years. The bridge over the river Roch in heart of Rochdale's town centre was partly obliterated in a terrorist incident in 1903, and then paved over to make way for Rochdale's pioneering new tram network.

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

Rochdale citizens were today warned against panic buying one of the staples of their diet. A widespread shortage of Futtock's Pies has been reported...