Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

11
Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...
Woman and Cat

My cats are like my children, says woman whose cat raped stranger in bush...

A woman whose cats regularly rape strangers in bushes on nights out has insisted that her cats are like her children. Part time hairdresser Barbara...
Fooded river

Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake

0
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday. Deep in the bowels of...

Rochdale man finds his keys in the first place he looks

In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon. Steve Dickinson,...

Rochdale letting agency wins top award. 

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A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.   The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the...

Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I

1
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...

Russian Athletes urine has street value of £2,000 per fluid ounce 

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Forget crack, heroin, spice and cannabis the latest drug to hit the streets of Rochdale is quite literally taking the piss.  The liquid shot called...

Rochdale Council name their new rubbish truck Donald Dump

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Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck. Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner...

Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II

4
Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...

Suspicious package that led to Burnley hospital evacuation identified as basket of fruit

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A 'suspicious package' that led to the evacuation of Burnley General Hospital earlier today has been identified as a basket of fruit, according to...
Cat

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

2
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...

Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero

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Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...

‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner

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An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size. The cat explained...

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