Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank.
Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Woakes Croaks – Jokes Hoax Chokes Stokes’ Folks
It has been revealed that a story about England cricket all-rounder Ben Stokes, which was definitely not printed in the Rochdale Herald, was a...
Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Man buying surprise ironing board for wife’s birthday asks what colour she wants –...
A Rochdale man has explained what happened when, on a whim, he decided to buy his wife an ironing board for her birthday and...
Many Muslims not rioting in streets
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...
Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour.
"For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...
It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news.
"It's...
May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious...
Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’.
The victim,...
Rochdale’s Indian Youth Bemoan Lack of “English” Takeaways
Rochdale's Indian youth have complained that there is a distinct lack of late night 'English' takeaway food available in the town.
"You know what it's...
Really clean woman furious with ‘Not OCD’ diagnosis
A local woman is said to be furious to discover that she isn't actually OCD.
"I clean the floor and hoover the curtains three times...
Rochdale Twin Towns To Be Replaced Post-Brexit
In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed...
Homeless Bloke says Stop buying me McDonald’s, I’m homeless not f***ing desperate
A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals.
David Wild...
Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...
Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption.
Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...
Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce
A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...
