Put a top on, you’re not Poldark man told.

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A Rochdale man has been told to put a top on whilst he does the gardening as he's in no danger of ever being...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...

Had an accident that wasn’t your fault? No? Want one? – Rochdale Herald TripsAdvisor...

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Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and that could net you £thousands in compensation? No? Well do you want one? Today the...
bbq

Twat ruins barbecue with guitar

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...

Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

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Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James...

It’s a muffin say experts ending the debate once and for all

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An argument over the name of a baked bread product that is traditionally cut in twain and filled with goodness like chips, bacon or...

Archbishops To Sue Builders Over Health and Safety Gone Mad

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A group of five Archbishops of Canterbury are to sue the building firm Klumsi 'n Fook.  Klumsi 'n Fook, were carrying out renovation works on...

Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies

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Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband.  That all changed a...

It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters

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Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old...

Eager traffic tyrant issuing parking fines willy-nilly in the town

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Disgruntled shopper Eileen McCarthy nipped into Poundland around lunchtime on Friday leaving her tartan bag on wheels parked up on the kerbside.  To her dismay...

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

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A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...

Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband

The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North. "It can't be true."...

Rochdale woman drinks Gin Advent Calendar on Saturday night

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A Rochdale woman has woken today and realised that she spent last night drinking all the Gin in her Fever-Tree Ultimate Gin Advent Calendar. Orla...

Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory

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A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High...

Manchester tram ‘spontaneous combustion’ victim named

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Commuters were left stunned this morning when Londoner Harry Turner spontaneously burst into flames aboard a Manchester tram.  The tragedy occurred after he was forced...

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