Old man smoking

Police find cannabis farm at Rochdale old folks home

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Cannabis plants have been uncovered at 'Bright Horizons' home for the elderly, Kirkholt, this morning. Police describe the haul as a kick in the...
Fooded river

Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake

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Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday. Deep in the bowels of...
Cat's Eyes

Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes

The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

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A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

Rochdale letting agency wins top award. 

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A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.   The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

Russian Athletes urine has street value of £2,000 per fluid ounce 

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Forget crack, heroin, spice and cannabis the latest drug to hit the streets of Rochdale is quite literally taking the piss.  The liquid shot called...
Man reading book

Man who only ever reads Jeremy Clarkson books outraged about Jane Austen appearing on...

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A Rochdale man who only ever reads books written by Jeremy Clarkson has voiced his anger about Jane Austen appearing on the new £10...
Homeless man

Homeless looking forward to making lots of new friends

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The homeless are celebrating the Conservative victory as they are looking forward to making lots of new friends. We spoke to Brian Thompson, a Big...

Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost

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One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...

Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero

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Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...

Woman With Book Arrested Under Terrorism Act

A 27 year old woman was arrested and briefly detained by South Yorkshire Police after a Thomson  Airways cabin staff member spotted her reading a...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...

Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food

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Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
angry

Inheritance should be spent on chardonnay and cruises not care says Rochdale man

Rochdale man Martin Williams has spent today in his local pub attacking the 'Tory Death Tax'. Williams 48, told the Herald, "It's ridiculous. My mum and...

Rochdale woman who found Hitler’s face on slice of toast converts to Nazism

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A Rochdale woman who found Hitlers face in a slice of toast has revealed she's converted to Nazism. The woman's son said, "About a week...

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