Man who only ever reads Jeremy Clarkson books outraged about Jane Austen appearing on...
A Rochdale man who only ever reads books written by Jeremy Clarkson has voiced his anger about Jane Austen appearing on the new £10...
Racists Shocked To Learn Arabic Words Have English Translations
Racists up and down the country have been shocked to learn that certain Arabic words like “Allah” and “Halal” actually translate into regular English...
Suspicious package that led to Burnley hospital evacuation identified as basket of fruit
A 'suspicious package' that led to the evacuation of Burnley General Hospital earlier today has been identified as a basket of fruit, according to...
Man who failed GCSE science now an expert in Novichok
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE science has revealed that he is now an expert in Novichok. Bill Board revealed his previously hidden talents...
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner
An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size.
The cat explained...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
First Burnley resident to complete 40 minute mile dies at 29
The Rochdale Herald is sad to report that the first Burnley resident to complete the 40 minute mile has died aged 29.
Bill Board completed...
Yeovil MP threatens local Mum with legal action over Facebook page
Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and...
Smug Husband packs Christmas shop into fridge
A smug father of two from Bolton has taken the plaudits of his close friends and family as he managed to pack away all...
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm.
In another in a...
Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
Christmas lunch already ruined after Grandma forgets to start cooking sprouts before end November
A Rochdale family has had to cancel Christmas this year after Grandma admitted that she had forgotten to start cooking the sprouts in November.
Pamela...
First plastic fiver in Rochdale passed around pub
Barry Noakes, a 53-year-old welder from Heywood, walked into the Regal Moon last night like he was king of the world.
He strutted to...
Do You Live in an Uneducated, Inbred, White Ghetto? Take Our Quiz For 5...
The Herald are proud to bring you this fun & easy to do quiz - Find out if you are inbred white-trash!
Question 1 -...




















































