Eager traffic tyrant issuing parking fines willy-nilly in the town

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Disgruntled shopper Eileen McCarthy nipped into Poundland around lunchtime on Friday leaving her tartan bag on wheels parked up on the kerbside.  To her dismay...

Miracle Declared As TK Maxx Customer Finds Acceptable Pair Of Jeans

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A TK Maxx customer in Rochdale has described his purchase of a pair of jeans that look acceptable and fit perfectly as “nothing short...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

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A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Rochdale man finds his keys in the first place he looks

In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon. Steve Dickinson,...
Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...

Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I

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The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.
Tube Chat

Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges 

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While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...

Man disappointed at not being told to remove England flags

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A Rochdale man has been telling us of his disappointment at not being made to take his England flag down by the police. Martin...

OUTRAGE as famous Rochdale nudist beach is closed for “cultural reasons”

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There was OUTRAGE in Rochdale this afternoon after council documents were leaked to The Rochdale Herald about the forthcoming closure of the world famous...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the...

Attenborough spotted in Rochdale as folk turn primitive

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Residents of Rochdale coming to terms with the swear ban are having to learn how to communicate from scratch. Restricted from their usual expletive fuelled...

Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

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In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an...

Stockport Town Centre awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

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There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World...

Panic as rebel Corbynistas take West Didsbury

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Residents of the leafy south Manchester suburb of West Didsbury were forced to spit their skinny lattes out in shock this morning after the...

Man buys Polaroid Camera takes 40 pictures of his genitals and hands them to...

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A Burnley man has been explaining why he bought a Polaroid Camera over the weekend, used it to take 40 pictures of his own...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

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