Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...

In wake of America and North Korea tensions Rochdale man hoarding bottlecaps

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Concerns have been raised by the family of Jim Watson, 24, of Heywood after he hasn't been seen for the last week and a...

Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?

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Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop...
Nun Fanny Nicentite

Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof

A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Hose Pipe Bans

3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK

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As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of...

Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain

There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster. Rochdale's elderly population had turned...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

First plastic fiver in Rochdale passed around pub

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Barry Noakes, a 53-year-old welder from Heywood, walked into the Regal Moon last night like he was king of the world. He strutted to...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...

Do You Live in an Uneducated, Inbred, White Ghetto? Take Our Quiz For 5...

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The Herald are proud to bring you this fun & easy to do quiz - Find out if you are inbred white-trash! Question 1 -...

EU kebab ban receives chilli reception in Burnley

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The EU move to ban phosphates in donner kebabs has sent a shockwave through the British culinary world. Keith Braithwaite, local restaurateur and winner of...

Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...

Local man feels a right twat after putting his back out in the gym

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Local man Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) put his back out this morning in the gym whilst trying to get fit for a...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...

PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England

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The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.

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