Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First
This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...
Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...
Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Smug Husband packs Christmas shop into fridge
A smug father of two from Bolton has taken the plaudits of his close friends and family as he managed to pack away all...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Local patriot spends £25,000 turning his head into a giant POPPY
With Remembrance Sunday just under two weeks away, a Rochdale man has made what he regards as the ultimate sacrifice in honour of our troops - by having his head...
Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections
Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week.
"Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections...
Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver
A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming, has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Do You Live in an Uneducated, Inbred, White Ghetto? Take Our Quiz For 5...
The Herald are proud to bring you this fun & easy to do quiz - Find out if you are inbred white-trash!
Question 1 -...
Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...
Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour.
"For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...
Local luxury goods firm goes bust
High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign.
Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...
Rochdale’s Indian Youth Bemoan Lack of “English” Takeaways
Rochdale's Indian youth have complained that there is a distinct lack of late night 'English' takeaway food available in the town.
"You know what it's...
Rochdale Twin Towns To Be Replaced Post-Brexit
In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed...
Man pretending to understand the wine list
A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant.
Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list...




















































