Cat

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

2
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

0
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
sperm bank

Man who failed GCSE science now an expert in Novichok

0
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE science has revealed that he is now an expert in Novichok. Bill Board revealed his previously hidden talents...
Hose Pipe Bans

3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK

0
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

0
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Kids Tattoo Studio

FURY as Tattoo Studio for children opens in Rochdale

29
Members of the public have reacted with OUTRAGE at the news that a new tattoo studio for babies and toddlers has opened in Rochdale town centre.
Man in tree with chainsaw

Sheffield Council misunderstand the word ‘Socialist’

0
Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of 'socialism'.  Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

1
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Do You Live in an Uneducated, Inbred, White Ghetto? Take Our Quiz For 5...

0
The Herald are proud to bring you this fun & easy to do quiz - Find out if you are inbred white-trash! Question 1 -...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

0
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

0
Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Socks and a tie on Rochdale man’s Christmas list

0
Rochdale resident Steve Dickinson is hoping for unusual Christmas presents from his wife Barbara this year.  "I'm running really low on socks, so some of...

Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin

2
It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...

May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

0
In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...

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