Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’.
The victim,...
LATEST – Burnley moves even closer to life in colour
Residents of Burnley moved one step closer to a life lived in colour this week.
The Rochdale Herald recently reported Burnley...
I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...
“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”
Twat ruins barbecue with guitar
Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...
Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard
An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with.
13 week old...
Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk
Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk.
Despite getting...
UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface
Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...
Black death condemned for being racist
Traditional remedies, like bleeding and mercury, have proved ineffective. Complementary therapists have suggested vaccination, but have been dismissed by mothers who prefer their infants to die naturally rather than to become autistic church goers.
Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell
It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Rochdale Nightmare Scenario As Shops Run Dry Of Pie Supply
Rochdale citizens were today warned against panic buying one of the staples of their diet.
A widespread shortage of Futtock's Pies has been reported...
Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”
The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...
Apology after nativity bites in Rochdale
A church in Rochdale has issued an apology and removed two donkeys from it's nativity scene following an incident yesterday involving one of the...
Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea
Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas.
“I just wanted to give...
British celts forced to admit fighting trousers no good against Roman legionaries
“The weather was our best asset.” The Society admitted. “There were voices in the early years of Roman expansion within Britannia who argued we should just hold a non-stop series of BBQ’s for the Romans until they got fed up trying to spit things in the rain and went home. It's actually how we got rid of Caesar back in BC dates.”
Rochdale Good Name Besmirched By Internet Trolls
The city of Rochdale was left reeling and in shock once again today as internet trolls took it upon themselves to deface an iconic...
Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone
The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
