Elderly Leave voter mistakes Hovis advert for childhood memories

30
An elderly leave voter has been telling the Herald about his childhood and it's very similar to the Hovis advert. Roy Bader, 72, who's never...

Homeless Bloke says Stop buying me McDonald’s, I’m homeless not f***ing desperate

20
A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals. David Wild...
NewsThump

Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”

0
The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation...

Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk

2
Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk. Despite getting...

Black death condemned for being racist

0
Traditional remedies, like bleeding and mercury, have proved ineffective. Complementary therapists have suggested vaccination, but have been dismissed by mothers who prefer their infants to die naturally rather than to become autistic church goers.

Middle aged man pulls off the double denim look

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A middle aged man from Halifax has done the impossible and pulled off the double denim look. Glenn Clarke, 53, from Bury in Lancashire, a...
Alpha Male

Man who refers to himself as an ‘alpha-male’ actually just a dickhead

A man from Rochdale who refers to himself as an 'alpha-male' is in fact just a bit of a dickead sources have revealed. The news...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

0
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
steak pie

Burnley Analytica implicated in Pie Market fixing scandal

The highly influential research and strategy group, Burnley Analytica, have been accused of unfairly influencing the, multi-pound Northern Pie Market. An undercover investigation, by Baked...
Audi A5

Audi driver has above average sized penis

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There were scenes of disbelief in Rochdale today after a man who drives a convertible Audi A5 was found to be in possession of...

It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters

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Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old...
Angry Man

Satirists give masterclass in social media relations.

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It seems that our writers are on form today.  One of our articles has apparently upset a section of our readers more than usual,...

Lunts Exhibition Returns To Rochdale Central Library

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The popular exhibition celebrating the life and work of the Lunts is due to return to Rochdale Central Library next week. Rochdale born couple Cybil...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

EDL firebombs PC World in Rochdale town centre

1
The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.  The trouble began...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

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South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...

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