Michael Gove

Plan to put Michael Gove in Wicker Man on Saddleworth Moor receives cross party...

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It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could...
Burnley

Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022

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Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022. Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

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Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Border collie describes his life as a series of trials

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Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...

Bacup bakery follow Delta Airlines’ lead, withdraw Britain First discount.

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Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision...

Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections...

Child believes summers are warm and England are good at football

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Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth There are certain core truths you learn...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

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A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim,...

Man who’s spent last 4 years banging on about Blitz Spirit buys 70 bottles...

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A Rochdale resident who regularly invokes the Blitz Spirit has been out an panic bought 70 bottles of hand sanitizer today. Bill Board regularly greets...

It’s the Greatest Story Ever Told – The Rochdale Brexit Christmas Nativity

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It was the night before Christmas. Newsthump had run an article claiming that if the surplus Remainers from Islington were resident in Rochdale on...
House Price

Rochdale Residents excited at house price rises in Post-Apocalypse Britain

Rochdale residents are said to be very excited by the prospect of house price rises for the first time in almost a century in...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

It’s a muffin say experts ending the debate once and for all

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An argument over the name of a baked bread product that is traditionally cut in twain and filled with goodness like chips, bacon or...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

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An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...

Rochdale couple speak of leaving embarassing ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg’ phase

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Two grandparents from Rochdale have spoken about emerging from the embarrassing 'Jacob Reees-Mogg' phase of their life. Orla Board told us, "We'll look back at...

Rochdale man surprised he hasn’t “turned out okay”

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Brian Bamford from Bamford got the shock news that "he hasn't turned out okay" after a neighbour called the police when she saw him...

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