Three in critical condition after tragic scone miss-pronunciation attack
Police have closed access to Battenburg street in Middleton today as the investigation into an altercation at the Middleton tea rooms has left three...
Only two Prime Ministers until Christmas
It may only be July but there are only two Prime Ministers until Christmas. That's according to the British Christmas Monitoring League.
The warning comes...
Homeless Bloke says Stop buying me McDonald’s, I’m homeless not f***ing desperate
A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals.
David Wild...
Put a top on, you’re not Poldark man told.
A Rochdale man has been told to put a top on whilst he does the gardening as he's in no danger of ever being...
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable
Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday.
James...
Black death condemned for being racist
Traditional remedies, like bleeding and mercury, have proved ineffective. Complementary therapists have suggested vaccination, but have been dismissed by mothers who prefer their infants to die naturally rather than to become autistic church goers.
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell
It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Apology after nativity bites in Rochdale
A church in Rochdale has issued an apology and removed two donkeys from it's nativity scene following an incident yesterday involving one of the...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose
UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...
BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s
A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects.
The footage was taken from...
Rochdale woman drinks Gin Advent Calendar on Saturday night
A Rochdale woman has woken today and realised that she spent last night drinking all the Gin in her Fever-Tree Ultimate Gin Advent Calendar.
Orla...
Russian Athletes urine has street value of £2,000 per fluid ounce
Forget crack, heroin, spice and cannabis the latest drug to hit the streets of Rochdale is quite literally taking the piss.
The liquid shot called...
