Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...

Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...
Hideous Bathroom Suite

Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all

9
A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided...

May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious...

Local man feels a right twat after putting his back out in the gym

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Local man Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) put his back out this morning in the gym whilst trying to get fit for a...

Rochdale’s Indian Youth Bemoan Lack of “English” Takeaways

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Rochdale's Indian youth have complained that there is a distinct lack of  late night 'English' takeaway food available in the town. "You know what it's...

War of the Roses: The Rematch

1
Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Rochdale couple speak of leaving embarassing ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg’ phase

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Two grandparents from Rochdale have spoken about emerging from the embarrassing 'Jacob Reees-Mogg' phase of their life. Orla Board told us, "We'll look back at...

It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist

Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Angry Man

Satirists give masterclass in social media relations.

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It seems that our writers are on form today.  One of our articles has apparently upset a section of our readers more than usual,...

Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

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Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

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South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
Cat's Eyes

Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes

The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...

Rochdale letting agency wins top award. 

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A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.   The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the...
Tube Chat

Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges 

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While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...

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