Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

Man in his 30’s caught using Snapchat

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32 year old office worker Damian Green from Middleton has admitted using snapchat in a desperate attempt to look "cool" and "down with the...

Eager traffic tyrant issuing parking fines willy-nilly in the town

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Disgruntled shopper Eileen McCarthy nipped into Poundland around lunchtime on Friday leaving her tartan bag on wheels parked up on the kerbside.  To her dismay...
Tube Chat

Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges 

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While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...
Refugees

Local man furious no refugees coming to his village

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A resident of East Lancashire village Potterby has said that he is furious that the government has ignored Potterby when allocating accommodation for Syrian...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’

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53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years. The heroic soldier...

Rochdale council ban nativity costumes except for Muslims

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The education department in Rochdale county council has issued a blanket memo to all schools for "insensitive fancy dress" for nativity plays.
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...

Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...

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A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...

Stockport Town Centre awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

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There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World...

Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan

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Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans. United manager...

Racists Shocked To Learn Arabic Words Have English Translations

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Racists up and down the country have been shocked to learn that certain Arabic words like “Allah” and “Halal” actually translate into regular English...

Rochdale Bypass Approved

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The rest of the UK today approved a bypass scheme for Rochdale. Using an EU grant while it is still available, the plan entails...

Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II

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Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...

Rochdale Clown Scare – only Danczuk

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Fears that the Killer Clown Scare had found its way from the United States to Rochdale have been given a custard pie in the...

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