Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II
Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...
Survey reveals majority of Britons ‘don’t know where Rochdale is’
A recent survey carried out by fifth formers at the Don Estelle Academy (formerly the Cyril Smith School for Boys) in Rochdale revealed that...
Government responds to Saddleworth Moor crisis by pledging further cuts to Fire Fighting services
Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news...
Local commuters in conversation horror near miss
One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation.
The incident,...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Border collie describes his life as a series of trials
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
First plastic fiver in Rochdale passed around pub
Barry Noakes, a 53-year-old welder from Heywood, walked into the Regal Moon last night like he was king of the world.
He strutted to...
Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back
Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain.
Dr...
Man Dressed As Batman Chasing Man Dressed As Clown Captured By Man Dressed As...
Rochdale Town Centre, and a man dressed as Batman who has been spotted in the locale chasing a man dressed as a Killer Clown...
It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news.
"It's...
Police called after man without tattoo spotted in Rochdale town centre
There was a commotion on Drake Street in Rochdale this afternoon as crowds of people gathered from all corners of the town to gaze...
Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”
The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.
This comes after the revelation...
Man pretending to understand the wine list
A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant.
Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list...
Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.
Carried out at the...
Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard
An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with.
13 week old...
Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal
The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property.
Simon Danczuk, God...
