Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals
Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables.
A...
Rochdale man finds his keys in the first place he looks
In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon.
Steve Dickinson,...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
Britain’s first Dog Fighting arena to get go ahead in Rochdale
The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a...
Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.
Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses
The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream
After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...
No Segs Please, We’re Rochdalians
Barmy Council Imposes Blanket Blakey Ban
Rochdale Metropolitan Borough Council have imposed a blanket ban on Segs, the popular metal footwear protector, following complaints from the...
Grandparent babysitting for half term wonders “Is it too early for a drink?” Monday...
A grandparent who nonchalantly offered to babysit for the entire half term week has already wondered if it's too early for a drink?
Granny Syllable,...
Racists Shocked To Learn Arabic Words Have English Translations
Racists up and down the country have been shocked to learn that certain Arabic words like “Allah” and “Halal” actually translate into regular English...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
Rochdale Council name their new rubbish truck Donald Dump
Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck.
Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner...
Government responds to Saddleworth Moor crisis by pledging further cuts to Fire Fighting services
Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news...
Local commuters in conversation horror near miss
One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation.
The incident,...
‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner
An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size.
The cat explained...
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
