British celts forced to admit fighting trousers no good against Roman legionaries
“The weather was our best asset.” The Society admitted. “There were voices in the early years of Roman expansion within Britannia who argued we should just hold a non-stop series of BBQ’s for the Romans until they got fed up trying to spit things in the rain and went home. It's actually how we got rid of Caesar back in BC dates.”
It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters
Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon.
28 year old...
Rochdale Good Name Besmirched By Internet Trolls
The city of Rochdale was left reeling and in shock once again today as internet trolls took it upon themselves to deface an iconic...
People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose
UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...
Baby carefully planning most inconvenient moment to shit himself
A newborn baby is deliberately planning the most inconvenient time to either shit himself or start screaming for no reason.
Lancashire-born newborn dickhead Barry Dickinson...
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of...
Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals
Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables.
A...
Rochdale woman drinks Gin Advent Calendar on Saturday night
A Rochdale woman has woken today and realised that she spent last night drinking all the Gin in her Fever-Tree Ultimate Gin Advent Calendar.
Orla...
Rochdale man finds his keys in the first place he looks
In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon.
Steve Dickinson,...
Manchester tram ‘spontaneous combustion’ victim named
Commuters were left stunned this morning when Londoner Harry Turner spontaneously burst into flames aboard a Manchester tram.
The tragedy occurred after he was forced...
Estate agent knows you want to fire him
Terry Thomas, 33, a south London real estate agent, is aware every single one of his clients wants to fire him.
Mr Thomas has been...
Dog awards Michelin star to cat litter tray
Rover Thomson, a five year old chocolate labrador from Newlyn, has awarded a Michelin star to the cat litter tray located in his family...
Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses
The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Russian Athletes urine has street value of £2,000 per fluid ounce
Forget crack, heroin, spice and cannabis the latest drug to hit the streets of Rochdale is quite literally taking the piss.
The liquid shot called...
Local man furious no refugees coming to his village
A resident of East Lancashire village Potterby has said that he is furious that the government has ignored Potterby when allocating accommodation for Syrian...
Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet
Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival.
North Norfolk District Council broke the...
