This drive is not for driving
Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive.
He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an...
Burnley twins with itself
After an extensive search, the Burnley Council has decided that the town best suited to twinning with Burnley is Burnley itself.
"We hired a consultant...
Gracie Fields sculptor accidentally sent picture of David Jason
It's embarrassing - said Councillor Dale Whiting. "It's supposed to be our tribute to the legendary Gracie Fields but it looks like Del Boy....
Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed
A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only...
Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof
A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Smug Husband packs Christmas shop into fridge
A smug father of two from Bolton has taken the plaudits of his close friends and family as he managed to pack away all...
Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...
Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour.
"For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...
Couple sentenced to five years in soft play centre for having unprotected sex
A Yorkshire couple have received a five year suspended sentence for having unprotected sex.
The sentence, which has been suspended for two years, is the...
Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock
There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man’s Christmas list
Rochdale resident Steve Dickinson is hoping for unusual Christmas presents from his wife Barbara this year.
"I'm running really low on socks, so some of...
Rochdale spies suffer eye strain after being exposed to local man’s tackle
Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints...
Rochdale Police Find ‘Lost’ Horse in semi rural area
Reports from GMP Rochdale are somewhat vague to say the least, so the minimum we can assume from the information supplied is the horse is somewhere...
PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England
The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.
