PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England

1
The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.

Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail

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A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.  Colin Nigelsson, a...
Water Treatment

Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...

25
Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption. Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...
theresa nay laughing

Theresa May to communicate Brexit deal using dance

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Theresa May will communicate the UK's Brexit plan to the House of Commons later today using the medium of dance. One insider told us, "The...
House Price

Rochdale Residents excited at house price rises in Post-Apocalypse Britain

Rochdale residents are said to be very excited by the prospect of house price rises for the first time in almost a century in...
Trump Flag

I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...

17
“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”

Put a top on, you’re not Poldark man told.

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A Rochdale man has been told to put a top on whilst he does the gardening as he's in no danger of ever being...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
bbq

Twat ruins barbecue with guitar

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...

Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row

Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...

Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

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Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James...

Terror as trick or treaters turn out to be political canvassers

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A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board...
Fission Chips

There’s a bloke works in our chip shop and he swears he’s Kim Jong...

1
A Rochdale fish and chip shop owner has been telling us how one of his employees is convinced he Kim Jong Un. Ray Fry told...

Iconic Rochdale Bridge Reopens

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An iconic Rochdale landmark built in the 14th Century has reopened after it was obscured from the public for over a hundred years. The bridge over the river Roch in heart of Rochdale's town centre was partly obliterated in a terrorist incident in 1903, and then paved over to make way for Rochdale's pioneering new tram network.

Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”

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The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...

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