This drive is not for driving
Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive.
He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an...
Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First
This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...
‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner
An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size.
The cat explained...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
Many Muslims not rioting in streets
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’
The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...
Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...
Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...
In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit...
Bacup bakery follow Delta Airlines’ lead, withdraw Britain First discount.
Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.
In line with a recent decision...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
Spanish Armada weatherman in the drink after Michael Fish moment
“Forecasting weather in Spain is easy.” Senor Dos explained, bobbing up and down on a piece of driftwood in the English Channel. “It’s always good.”
Child believes summers are warm and England are good at football
Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth
There are certain core truths you learn...
PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England
The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.
Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit
Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...
Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...
Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption.
Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
