Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Range Rover

Range Rover found parked inside the lines

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There are concerns for the welfare of the owner of a Range Rover found parked within the white lines of just two parking spaces...

‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state

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As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...
House Price

Rochdale Residents excited at house price rises in Post-Apocalypse Britain

Rochdale residents are said to be very excited by the prospect of house price rises for the first time in almost a century in...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

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Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...

Had an accident that wasn’t your fault? No? Want one? – Rochdale Herald TripsAdvisor...

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Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and that could net you £thousands in compensation? No? Well do you want one? Today the...
bbq

Twat ruins barbecue with guitar

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk

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Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk. Despite getting...
Dog Shitting in Car

Police free distressed dog left in locked car in Burnley carpark

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POLICE were forced to smash the window of a locked car parked outside Asda in order release a distressed dog inside the vehicle on...
steak pie

Burnley Analytica implicated in Pie Market fixing scandal

The highly influential research and strategy group, Burnley Analytica, have been accused of unfairly influencing the, multi-pound Northern Pie Market. An undercover investigation, by Baked...

Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”

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The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...

Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone

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The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...

DNA analysis of white poo on Rochdale street reveals that it comes from a...

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Experts tracking down rogue dog owners in Rochdale came up with the shocking news that prehistoric species are alive and kicking. What's more, the...

Couple still at bottle bank

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A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.

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