Cat's Eyes

Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes

The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...

Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’

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53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years. The heroic soldier...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall in surprise bid to become MP for Covfefe

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In a move which has delighted the electorate of Boston and Skegness, Nuttall has transferred his allegiance. Nutcase claims divine intervention: "According to the Gospel of...

Drowning Man Rescued from Gorton Pothole

Following a night out with his mates, a man who fell into a pothole in Gorton, Manchester was rescued by a passing stranger. The...

Rochdale tourists furious as they’re falsely sold ‘Zombie Experience’

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We were furious - Clive Gulliver told us. Clive Gulliver and his wife Amanda were visiting the historic town as there was no where...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...
Homeless man

Homeless looking forward to making lots of new friends

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The homeless are celebrating the Conservative victory as they are looking forward to making lots of new friends. We spoke to Brian Thompson, a Big...

Rochdale Bypass Approved

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The rest of the UK today approved a bypass scheme for Rochdale. Using an EU grant while it is still available, the plan entails...

Dead burglar to get state funeral

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A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.  Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...

Dame Judi Dench Shows Off New Tattoo

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Dame Judi Dench, 81 years young, gave the world it's first sneak preview of her first ever tattoo at this afternoon's premiere of Aladdin...

Government responds to Saddleworth Moor crisis by pledging further cuts to Fire Fighting services

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Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news...

New bay platform at Rochdale station opens

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Great news for Rochdalians! As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station! The new platform - actually a...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

This drive is not for driving

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Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive. He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...

OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?

Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...

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