Woman in critical condition after Ocado delivery goes right

0
A Rochdale woman was said to be in a stable condition after being rushed to Rochdale Infirmary this morning. An ambulance was called to...

Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit

0
Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

0
A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...
Trump Flag

I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...

17
“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

0
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...

Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.

0
Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter. A regular at Rochdale's...

Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

0
Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James...
Man laughing

Serious satirists no laughing matter

0
150-times winner of the 12-monthly Rochdale Herald annual 'Best satirical news site, based in Rochdale', the Rochdale Herald, has recently left readers puzzled.   It...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

11
Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...

It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters

0
Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old...
Angry Man

Satirists give masterclass in social media relations.

0
It seems that our writers are on form today.  One of our articles has apparently upset a section of our readers more than usual,...
Old man smoking

Police find cannabis farm at Rochdale old folks home

0
Cannabis plants have been uncovered at 'Bright Horizons' home for the elderly, Kirkholt, this morning. Police describe the haul as a kick in the...

DNA analysis of white poo on Rochdale street reveals that it comes from a...

2
Experts tracking down rogue dog owners in Rochdale came up with the shocking news that prehistoric species are alive and kicking. What's more, the...
Woman and Cat

My cats are like my children, says woman whose cat raped stranger in bush...

A woman whose cats regularly rape strangers in bushes on nights out has insisted that her cats are like her children. Part time hairdresser Barbara...

Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed

10
A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed. “He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts