Local News

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to be paying full price for sofas and hearth rugs for...

Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain. Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, "In ancient times the...

Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the ongoing US Government shutdown on the basis that "we're not...

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet roll in the downstairs loo. "I couldn't believe my eyes." Barbara...

The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said, "Poppy day is my favourite day of the year. I...

A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim, Rev. Roger Simpkins, was greeting a member of his congregation...

It may only be July but there are only two Prime Ministers until Christmas. That's according to the British Christmas Monitoring League. The warning comes as many Britons are still enjoying long evening, warm temperatures...

It was the night before Christmas. Newsthump had run an article claiming that if the surplus Remainers from Islington were resident in Rochdale on the 25th of December they would automatically be on the...

It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to hospital yesterday. Sheffield Council is Labour controlled and Labour Councillor Podge...

Violent scenes today in Rochdale as the public demonstrated their extreme anger that Honey G remains in the X Factor, while genuinely talented people haven't bothered with the career ending puppet show. The violence was focused on...

Burnley Council has been forced to cancel its annual community Nativity Play for the 126th consecutive year in succession. After another exhaustive search of the Borough they were yet again unable to find three wise...

Learner drivers in Rochdale have been getting to know the high octane thrill of queuing on the M62 for the first time today. The government has for the first time allowed learner drivers to...

A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board told us, "Me and my wife really enjoy answering the...

Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were celebrating their freedom yesterday. Simeon Cramp and Calvin Hobbes, who frequently...

While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time that week that he’d seen the exact same pigeon outside...

A plan to devolve police powers in Rochdale has been given the green light. This will be the biggest shakeup in policing since since Robert Peel introduced the police force in 1829. The plan involves a...