Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

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Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...

Child believes summers are warm and England are good at football

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Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth There are certain core truths you learn...

Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...
Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

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  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...

PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England

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The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.

Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban

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Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit. This follows the New Year outrage...

LATEST – Burnley moves even closer to life in colour

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Residents of Burnley moved one step closer to a life lived in colour this week. The Rochdale Herald recently reported Burnley...
NewsThump

Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”

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The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation...

It’s the Greatest Story Ever Told – The Rochdale Brexit Christmas Nativity

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It was the night before Christmas. Newsthump had run an article claiming that if the surplus Remainers from Islington were resident in Rochdale on...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

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A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...

It’s a muffin say experts ending the debate once and for all

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An argument over the name of a baked bread product that is traditionally cut in twain and filled with goodness like chips, bacon or...

Middle aged man pulls off the double denim look

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A middle aged man from Halifax has done the impossible and pulled off the double denim look. Glenn Clarke, 53, from Bury in Lancashire, a...

Rochdale Man breaks record for Most Conspiracies Believed

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Local man, Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed something or the other, believes he is one of the only people in the world to believe...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

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Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...

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