Local commuters in conversation horror near miss

0
One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation. The incident,...
Cat

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

2
In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

0
Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...

Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?

0
Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

0
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

0
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...

OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?

Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Michael Gove

Plan to put Michael Gove in Wicker Man on Saddleworth Moor receives cross party...

0
It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could...

Smug Husband packs Christmas shop into fridge

0
A smug father of two from Bolton has taken the plaudits of his close friends and family as he managed to pack away all...

The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale

0
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...

Border collie describes his life as a series of trials

0
Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Socks and a tie on Rochdale man’s Christmas list

0
Rochdale resident Steve Dickinson is hoping for unusual Christmas presents from his wife Barbara this year.  "I'm running really low on socks, so some of...
Writer

It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist

2
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's...

One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

0
At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
NewsThump

Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”

0
The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

0
Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts