A 27 year old woman was arrested and briefly detained by South Yorkshire Police after a Thomson 

Airways cabin staff member spotted her reading a book while being brown.

Faizah Shaheen, who helps prevent teenage mental health patients from becoming radicalised, was returning from her honeymoon in Marmaris, Turkey.

The book, a collection of essays from Syrians with pictures and everything was destroyed in a controlled explosion. 

“We realise that people in big cities might find book learning quite normal,” said our source at Doncaster Constabulary, “but round here we don’t put up with such namby pamby crap. Apparently that Kerrang that all them terrorismists have is a book too!”

The lady was released without charge when it was discovered that the book had proper English words rather than squiggly stuff that goes backwards.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.