Pathologist

Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner

The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself to death and then hanged himself actually died of natural...

Salisbury poisoning suspect revealed to be elderly arcade owner from Scooby Doo

A man who is suspected of poisoning Sergei Skripal and Yulia Skripal has had his real identity revealed by a group calling itself Mystery Inc. The group held a press conference yesterday where they revealed...

Putin admits attack on Skripal start of ‘War on Dubstep’

After repeated denials of involvement in the Skripal affair, Vladimir Putin has finally been moved to admit it was a deliberate attack. Putin was visibly stung by UK Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson's scripted...

UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign

UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit through. The President of the United States took time out from...
Vladimir

Plucky underdog wins Russian Presidential election against all odds

Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to the Kremlin after capturing over 110% of the vote in...
Putin 2

Russian presidential candidates have families safely returned in wake of Putin’s re-election

The families of all seven Russian Presidential candidates have been returned safely after the totally unexpected landslide victory for Vladimir Putin. Today Vladimir Putin has succeeded in his third run for the presidency with 110%...

Putin starts worrying that he might be a dick

Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly started worrying that he might actually be a bit of a dick. Sources close to Putin have revealed that the Russian leader has recently started asking whether there might...
Trump

Trump says he misspoke when he said Stalin was an excellent strong leader

Donald Trump has said that he misspoke when he described Joseph Stalin as an excellent strong leader. Trump was replying to reporters who sought clarification after Russian sources said Trump had compared Putin favorably to...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one year appraisal meeting. The pair met during a meeting of Asian...
Putin White Denim

Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight

Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This land is my land." The Rochdale Herald can reveal that the song...
Farage in Russian hat

Kremlins useful idiots deny that they’re Kremlins useful idiots

A bunch of useful idiots have denied that they are useful idiots today after a series of e-mails seemed to prove that they were in fact useful idiots for the Russian Government. One of the...
Sergei Lavrov

Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director

Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the FBI. Lavrov, who was appointed Russia’s Foreign Minister in 2004, is...
Julian Assange

Julian Assange wins FSB employee of the month

Julian Assange has explained that he is happy to be awarded FSB's employee of the month for July award. The Russian secret service organisation said in a statement, "Wikileaks and Mr Assange have been most...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to us and say I spy for you and you win...
Missiles flying into sky

Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own

This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.   This, apparently, includes Russia's own military aircraft. General Yuri Bigbangskivich, spokesman for the...
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are cracked up to be.  An insider at the office for the...

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