International News

Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise missile attack on Tuesday next week. The surprise attack comes in...

The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria. They are expected to discuss the options for military action being considered by America and...

The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.  Responding to reports of an incident in Douma in which dozens of people are reported to...

Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising Malaysian-born contestant Zaleha Kadir Olpin's rendang curry because the "chicken...

An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.

Long term squatter julian Assange has lost his internet porn privileges at the Ecuadorian Embassy, where he lives in a cupboard, The Rochdale Herald has discovered. Speaking exclusively to an Embassy employee, who desperately needed...

United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines. The bill will take effect over the summer. This will...

Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. It is understood that the US President stumbled...

The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently. The main vote will determine on which side Declan Donnelly should...

After repeated denials of involvement in the Skripal affair, Vladimir Putin has finally been moved to admit it was a deliberate attack. Putin was visibly stung by UK Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson's scripted...

Russian President, Vladimir Putin, won a landslide victory in last night's election which securing his place as leader of the USA. As predicted, Putin secured his place in history with a massive majority. After all...

Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to the Kremlin after capturing over 110% of the vote in...

Vladimir Putin will lead Russia for another six year terms after securing victory in the Russian "election" today. With almost all of the ballots counted he has received almost 110% of the vote, a shockingly...

The families of all seven Russian Presidential candidates have been returned safely after the totally unexpected landslide victory for Vladimir Putin. Today Vladimir Putin has succeeded in his third run for the presidency with 110%...

Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says broke a confidentiality agreement about an affair he claims not...

Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage in a micropenis dick-measuring competition, it has been confirmed. The...