Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and “Nuclear” lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage in a micropenis dick-measuring competition, it has been confirmed.

The event has been hailed as a historic first, as a serving President of the United States has never yet met a leader of the secretive North Korean regime.

Experts confirmed that Trump’s plan to repeat his previously public willy-waving in private will also be a world first.

Dr Denzel Dexter, of the London Platform for International Co-operation said: “In a diplomatic first, the eternal question of who has the smallest todger will finally be settled.

The US is already upping the stakes by building the largest electron-microscope ever conceived, in order that Trump can at least lay claim to having something that is the biggest in the room.”

A White House spokesperson said: “Although there are concerns about the language differences, these shouldn’t represent a problem as both men speak fluent bellend.”