Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

44
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

0
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

0
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...
Space Rocket

Audi driver becomes first in space after tailgating Tesla into orbit

0
A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space. Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on...
Trump Airplane

Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...

28
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.

Straya, Blue Skies and Fascists

0
As the Federal Government makes further progress towards a Fascist state, it’s been a busy day in Australian politics.
Drone

ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal

0
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...

Turkish voters refuse to believe Erdogan a dictator till they see it written on...

Turkish voters across the country are still refusing to believe that Erdogan is an autocratic dictator despite the fact that he's locked up all...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

0
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

0
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...

Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

4
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

0
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...

CIA to dumb down intelligence briefings

0
The U.S. Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Dan Coats, announced on Sunday that they will be cutting down the president’s daily intelligence briefings to a maximum...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

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The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...

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