Disney Confirm Little Mermaid Killed By North Korean Missile Launch
Within the past few minutes the Walt Disney Company has released a statement confirming that Ariel, the Little Mermaid, was killed during Wednesday's North...
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.
He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Australia’s Immigration Minister calls for tougher toughness
Peter Dutton, Australia’s Immigration Minister, launched a scathing attack on Australia’s business leaders following their public support for the legalisation of gay marriage.
Heads of...
UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations
The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Marine Le Pen demands Malian be charged with breaking and entering
Marine Le Pen has demanded to know why a Malian refugee was given citizenship and not arrested for breaking and entering over the weekend....
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19
Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19.
Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
CIA to dumb down intelligence briefings
The U.S. Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Dan Coats, announced on Sunday that they will be cutting down the president’s daily intelligence briefings to a maximum...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections.
A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...
Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development.
According to state...
Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’
President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a...
Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.
The man, now in his seventies, is said...
