Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate
The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...
Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...
London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin.
Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him
The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...
Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
US WWII veterans arrested after Trump bans anti-fascists
In extraordinary scenes the US Secret Service have rounded up and imprisoned several second world war veterans after Donald Trump announced the banning of...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles.
Early reports indicate that...
Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017.
Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Picture yourself in their shoes
A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox
Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:-
"On the 9th...
