Macron roasts Le Swan
Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence
America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...
There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”
A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.
US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books
The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...
Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women
Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally.
The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director
Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...
Turkish referendum definitely not rigged, says head of the Turkish Electoral Commission Recep Erdogan
The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to...
Trump apologises for misreading email.
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days.
The President was...
Trump Replaces White House With Blimp
President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp.
The President is believed to have made the decision...
‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...
Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...
Head of worlds largest global paedophile network spotted in Dublin
The leader of a global paedophile network has arrived in Ireland as he begins touring the country today.
Pope Francis flew into Dublin Airport and was...
American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...
Australia in early fireworks embarrassment
We have heard news that fireworks have been sighted a full 12 hours before new year in Syndney Harbour, Australia.
The fireworks that were reported to...
