The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

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United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines....

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

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Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

5
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award. Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

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Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Political Prisoners

North Korea accused of human rights abuses after forcing political prisoners to meet Donald...

There was widespread outrage across the international community this morning with Kim Jong Un facing fresh accusations of human rights abuses, torture and human...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

Jeremy Corbyn reveals plan to become Iranian Ayatollah

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In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran. A spokesman...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

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A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for...

Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws

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In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

6
An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...
Theresa May

May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations

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Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade. The exchange came...

May to wear codpiece and alpha male pig hormone for Trump meeting

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In a bid to protect from pussy grabbing and give the impression of a large penis and aura of dominance, Theresa May will today...

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