Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...
Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%
Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...
If everyone had nukes we’d all be safe, says Kim Jong-un
Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through...
Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...
The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
I thought they would be white, sighs Trump
President Trump incensed at travelling half way round the world to meet hostages that were not even white
Donald Trump has spoken today of his...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Melania puts down deposit on $80 million one bedroom flat in Paris
The First Lady of the US has reportedly put an undisclosed deposit down on a small one bedroom flat worth $80,000,000 in the centre...
Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France
A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...
Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...
Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him.
POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump
Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's.
It is being reported around the world...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
