Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...

Donald Trump’s penis is largest the world has ever seen says Donald Trump

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Donald Trump has asked his propaganda secretary, Sean Spicer, to assure The White House press corps that President Trump's penis is "the largest penis in the history of penises. Period!"

WW3 inevitable as Boris Johnson prank calls Putin and leaves burning bag of dog...

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Hetrosexual Russian leader, Vladimir Putin immediately responded by sending a fleet of Grade 50 ballistic war ships to British waters.  He then instructed 4 million...

Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn

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White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was...
Steve Bannon

Donald Trump to present Steve Bannon with participation medal for service to America

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“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot. Only losers get shot. Couldnt even drive own car. Bannon deserve medal for participation at White Hoise! Turned up every day even when I didn't!”
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...

Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

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Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson backtracks after accidentally telling truth about Saudi Arabia

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After Boris Johnson was recorded last week saying that countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia often fight proxy wars in the Middle East...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

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Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

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President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

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Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

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President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...

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