Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail
Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...
Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech
Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
North Korean media reports North Korea has won the World Cup
North Korea has won the World Cup despite not qualifying for the tournament. At least that's what the north Korean media has said today.
North...
Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead
The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...
Border Control detain drug using hate preacher
Praise for Security Services for successful policing of border
A known hate preacher, in South Africa to sow racial tension, has been successfully detained by...
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles.
Early reports indicate that...
Trump apology shocks nation
In a move that has shocked the world the shredded wheat headed presidential candidate Donald Trump has actually apologised for something.
His apology was aimed...
Australia’s Immigration Minister calls for tougher toughness
Peter Dutton, Australia’s Immigration Minister, launched a scathing attack on Australia’s business leaders following their public support for the legalisation of gay marriage.
Heads of...
UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations
The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company
The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
