Thanks Mahmut. Inventor of Donner Kebab Dies Aged 87
The man who invented the doner kebab has died. Mahmut Aygun, was suffering from cancer and died in Berlin at the age of 87.
Known as...
Sir Richard Branson arrested for looting in British Virgin Islands
Billionaire adventurer and entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson is currently in custody in the British Virgin Islands after being arrested for looting, according to reports....
ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update
ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update.
The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of...
Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19
Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19.
Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...
Donald Trump is a hoax, says Global Warming
Global Warming, the phenomenon by which mankind is fucking up the environment, has confirmed on Twitter today that Donald Trump is in fact a...
Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections.
A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...
If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush.
One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was...
Donald Trump to present Steve Bannon with participation medal for service to America
“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot. Only losers get shot. Couldnt even drive own car. Bannon deserve medal for participation at White Hoise! Turned up every day even when I didn't!”
Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward
It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
Plucky underdog wins Russian Presidential election against all odds
Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to...
Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight
Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This
land...
Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
Sean Spicer suspended from Labour Party over Hitler comments
Tom Watson has announced this morning that the White House press secretary, Sean Spicer is to be investigated by the Labour Party for anti-Semitic...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
