IKEA founder funeral delayed because man won’t look at instructions
The funeral of IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has been delayed by several days as staff at the funeral parlour attempt to assemble his coffin....
Sean Spicer suspended from Labour Party over Hitler comments
Tom Watson has announced this morning that the White House press secretary, Sean Spicer is to be investigated by the Labour Party for anti-Semitic...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day
In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...
Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
My missile is bigger than your missile Trump tells Kim Jong Un
Donald Trump has started a Twitter row with Kim Jong Un over the size of their missiles.
Kim had yesterday claimed he possesses a missile...
Bill Cosby Offers Trump PR Advice Over Sexual Assault Allegations
Dateline this morning, and in the face of a slew of fresh sexual assault allegations, beleaguered Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...
There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Straya, Blue Skies and Fascists
As the Federal Government makes further progress towards a Fascist state, it’s been a busy day in Australian politics.
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation
EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced.
Speaking...
Picture yourself in their shoes
A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...

















































