face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

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The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...

Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...

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Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.  During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

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The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

People of Aleppo not quite white enough

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European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

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Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Massive Bomb

Dropping Massive Bomb on Afghanistan not warning to North Korea Spicer tells press conference

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The fact that Americans have used a big fuck-off bomb when North Korea and Trump are engaged in a major sabre rattle is just...

Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court

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Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault. Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...
Boris Johnson

Downing Street all go for Bojo Moscow no show

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Downing Street has defended its decision not to send Boris Johnson to Russia on Monday. The decision came in the aftermath of the chemical weapons...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

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It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

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The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

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Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

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America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
School class

AMERICANS! How to maximize media outrage over your kid’s devastating school-murder. – Rochdale Herald...

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In the not too distant past, school shootings were the stuff of tabloid dreams, but in a post Sandy Hook world, the circumstances of...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

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The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...

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