Boris Johnson

Britain threatens Russia with visit from Boris Johnson

There were extraordinary scenes in Parliament today as Boris Johnson spoke about the suspected poisoning of Sergei Skripal. Mr Johnson said, "If Russian involvement is...
Kim Jong Un

Despot of country full of gullible starving peasants about to declare war on North...

The bilge tanks of mainstream media are overflowing today with irrepressible joy and mental sewerage at the prospect of wannabe despot Donald Trump declaring...
Sandy Hook

We’re doing just fine says President of country whose hobbies include shooting children at...

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The so-called President of a country that lists shooting children at school amongst its most popular hobbies has told the UK Prime Minster to...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

0
ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle

0
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph. "It...
Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

0
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Chernobyl

Chernobyl rejects proposal to twin towns with Rochdale

30
The Ukrainian town of Chernobyl has rejected a proposal to twin with Rochdale, a spokesman for Rochdale council confirmed to the Herald. The town...
Children Running

Teaching children to Zig Zag best way to avoid school shooting fatalities, say NRA

0
In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

9
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Trump Flag

Trump to introduce Hunger Games-style immigration policy

0
The matter of immigration has often been a contentious issue within politics, particularly American politics of late. During the campaign trail, Donald Trump promised...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

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President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...
Trump Walking

Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet

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WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

6
An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

2
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...

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