Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

0
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Thanks Mahmut. Inventor of Donner Kebab Dies Aged 87

0
The man who invented the doner kebab has died. Mahmut Aygun, was suffering from cancer and died in Berlin at the age of 87. Known as...
Donald Trump

Bloke who fancies his daughter lies about woman marrying her brother

0
A bloke who wants to shag his daughter has suggested that a top US politician should be investigated for marrying her brother. Incest enthusiast and...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

0
Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...

Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline

0
The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.
Donald Trump

President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill

5
Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...

Fact checkers are nit-picking liberal fascist pinko commies -claim Trump supporters

0
Doubt is surrounding the Donald Trump presidential bid this week following Donald's bizarre lie riddled rant of an acceptance speech at the Republican Party...

Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections

0
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

0
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

0
Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

0
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...

Rogue State Threatens World Peace By Threatening To Totally Destroy North Korea

27
A rogue nation, governed by a lunatic, could be about to start a nuclear war on North Korea. The country, known in its native tongue...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

0
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...

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