Incest enthusiast congratulates infidelity enthusiast
Amateur golfer and incest enthusiast Donald Trump has congratulated the UK's infidelity champion Boris Johnson on becoming the latest worst Prime Minister in living...
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court
Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault.
Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...
Vladimir Putin Secures Another Term At The White House
Russian President, Vladimir Putin, won a landslide victory in last night's election which securing his place as leader of the USA.
As predicted, Putin secured...
WW3 inevitable as Boris Johnson prank calls Putin and leaves burning bag of dog...
Hetrosexual Russian leader, Vladimir Putin immediately responded by sending a fleet of Grade 50 ballistic war ships to British waters.
He then instructed 4 million...
May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations
Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade.
The exchange came...
White House admits Trump thought Korean War was fought in Star Trek
The White House has apparently confirmed that POTATUS, Donald Trump, thought the Korean War was a war fought in the 1970's in Star Trek.
The...
Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Donald Trump: DNA test finds ‘strong evidence’ of human DNA
US President Donald Trump has revealed that a DNA test shows "strong evidence" that he is distantly related to human beings.
He took the test...
Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media
White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the...
Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.
Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the...
French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget
General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget.
General...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
Statue of Liberty planning move back to France
Following a public falling out today between the President of France and the Dictator of the United States of America the Statue of Liberty...
King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony
Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
