Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

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Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was...
Scaramucci

Trump Fan Can Go – Scaramucci sacked as new White House Communications Director –...

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He’s just a rich boy, didn’t give a fuck about anybody. Easy come, easy go, we guess. In disappointing news for fans of the White...

Churchill, Bill Clinton, Castro estates involved in Cuban cigar crisis

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The demise of Castro has triggered a dangerous standoff between East and West superpowers.  Upon the news of the death of Castro shares in antique...

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Trump

After being pussy whipped by North Korea, Trump turns his attention to Afganyst Agfhanist...

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Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

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Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

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Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

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Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...

Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination

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Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination. In yet another...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

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Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...
Guns for sale

Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem

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A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it...

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

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