Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit
Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...
London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin.
Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
J K Rowling denies seven figure sum to write ‘President Trump and the White...
Other proposed titles in the series are, ‘Vladimir Putting and the Half Brained President’, ‘Donnie Trump and the Gob of Fire and Fury’, ‘President Trump and the Prisoner of Asshat’, ‘Donald Trump and the Magic Revolving Door of Power’ and ‘Donald in the Competition to be Crazier than North Korea’.
Vladimir Putin wins Russian Presidential election with 110% of the vote
Vladimir Putin will lead Russia for another six year terms after securing victory in the Russian "election" today.
With almost all of the ballots counted...
Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled.
Jamal...
Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning.
The news comes after...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Trump leads Independence day celebrations by honouring Goldblum and Smith
It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate...
ISIS narrowly beats Halloween and Presidential election in annual scary competition
This year's annual scary competition is still a 3 horsemen of the apocalypse race in it's closing stages.
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
AMERICANS! How to maximize media outrage over your kid’s devastating school-murder. – Rochdale Herald...
In the not too distant past, school shootings were the stuff of tabloid dreams, but in a post Sandy Hook world, the circumstances of...
