Dyson vacuum cleaners issue blanket denial of Trump wiretap allegations
UK based vacuum cleaner and household electronics company Dyson has no involvement whatsoever in spying on US President Donald Trump, sources close to the...
Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’
Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test
Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the...
Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled.
Jamal...
VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins
Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed.
Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...
How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...
The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans.
The church is...
Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service
US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties.
The "Piñata National...
Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...
UN tells Goodwill Ambassador to fuck off
After a record low of zero days in the job, the new UN Ambassador, whose job it would've been to generally spread love and...
Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event.
The demagogue was able to...
Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.
The man, now in his seventies, is said...
Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’
The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk...
Senate approve plans for naughty corner in Oval Office
A White House insider has revealed plans to redesign the Oval Office to help Donald Trump, cope with the rigours of his job.
The actions...
Playboy bunnies to be re-homed at The Whitehouse
After the sad passing of millionaire feminist Hugh (the Hef) Hefner the dilemma of what to do with the dozens of now ownerless and...
Churchill, Bill Clinton, Castro estates involved in Cuban cigar crisis
The demise of Castro has triggered a dangerous standoff between East and West superpowers.
Upon the news of the death of Castro shares in antique...


















































