US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say
something like: “Im an export int I”
That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence
America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election
On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running.
Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis...
Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage
A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage.
Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall
The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation...
Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner
The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Australian MPs vote unanimously to make burka compulsory for Pauline Hanson
Former chip shop owner Hanson later complained that the decision proved conclusively the unwarranted discrimination faced by women wearing Islamic garb in Australia and vowed that she would fight tooth and nail to ensure they enjoyed the same rights as other Australian women just as soon as she'd finished fighting to have them all deported.
UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’
Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
