Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company
A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland
Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand.
May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73.
Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns
Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Trump To Build Ladder To The Moon
President Donald Trump has confirmed that America is to build the world’s first ladder to the Moon.
At a White House press conference Trump stated...
Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom.
A press officer...
Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...
People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Roy Moore ordered to pay if he wants another go after coming in a...
The Alabama Secretary of State has told Judge Roy Moore that he will have to finance any recount of the Senate seat vote.
John Merrill...
Donald Trump wins ‘International Thundercunt of the Year Award’ after declaring war on children
President Donald Trump has been awarded the International Thundercunt of the Year Award following his decision to remove protections for young people brought into...
Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference
President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference.
Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened.
"Mr...
Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...
Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.
During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...
