Putin Tillerson

Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson

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WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and...
Trump

After being pussy whipped by North Korea, Trump turns his attention to Afganyst Agfhanist...

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Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst...

Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people

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It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Playboy Mansion

RSPCA desperately seeking forever homes for 45 bunnies rescued from ‘Bunny Farm’ in California

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A RSPCA spokesman in Nantwich is urgently looking for 45 'new residents rescued from what he described as 'the biggest bunny farm they had...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...
Man holding a gun

Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen

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Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...

Light spectroscopy confirms Trump wears a toupee and it’s 70% alpaca

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Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division...

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

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The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...
Swiper

Swiper named as Map Safety Ambassador by UN

The World Health Organization (WHO) has appointed Swiper, the thieving rodent, as a "map safety ambassador" to help tackle dangerous map use. New WHO head...
Trump Bed

Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him

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The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...
Hugh Hefner

Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual

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Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles. Early reports indicate that...

Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror

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US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...

Trump sues porn star for breaching confidentiality agreement about affair he claims not to...

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Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says...
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

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It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...
Sea Wall

Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms

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Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...

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