Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line
Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.
In a new bid to...
ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine
As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...
US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets
Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Only two FBI directors until Christmas
Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund.
Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama,...
Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark
Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Trump To Build Ladder To The Moon
President Donald Trump has confirmed that America is to build the world’s first ladder to the Moon.
At a White House press conference Trump stated...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Ireland elects first openly sober prime minister
Leo Varadkar made history yesterday by winning the leadership election of the Fine Gael Party to become the first openly sober Taoiseach (Prime Minister) in Irish history.
President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump
Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month.
One told us, "The President is looking...
US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books
The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...
Luftwaffe didn’t tell Hitler about every bomb dropped, just sayin, Spicer tells press corps
Sean Spicer has put rumours to rest that Hawkish generals in the United States military are deploying military assets without Presidential authorisation.
"Look I know...
U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Putin starts worrying that he might be a dick
Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly started worrying that he might actually be a bit of a dick.
Sources close to Putin have revealed that...
Dropping Massive Bomb on Afghanistan not warning to North Korea Spicer tells press conference
The fact that Americans have used a big fuck-off bomb when North Korea and Trump are engaged in a major sabre rattle is just...
