Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office
In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone.
Not since the 11th century has there...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Aussies can stay in Scotland
Gregg and Kathryn Brian and their son were given a last minute reprieve from being deported back to Australia from Scotland if Mrs Brian...
British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach
Beachgoers were surprised by the sight of dozens of migrants scrambling out of the surf today at the Playa de los Alemanes resort in...
US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
National Association of C#nts sue Florida for asking murderers to wait a bit to...
The National Association of Massive Cunts filed a lawsuit in federal court Friday in an attempt to block a Florida law to make murderous...
US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob
Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.
Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States
After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl
The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today.
One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...
Massive weapon condemns massive weapon’s massive weapon test
A massive weapon took to social media this morning to condemn the massive weapon test of another massive weapon.
It's unclear at this point who...
Turkish voters refuse to believe Erdogan a dictator till they see it written on...
Turkish voters across the country are still refusing to believe that Erdogan is an autocratic dictator despite the fact that he's locked up all...
Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...
