Wasps

Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists

50
After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

0
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...

College Professor assaults Trump supporter

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A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...
Ramones

Onlookers stunned as man in Ramones t-shirt successfully names two band members

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The patrons and entire staff team at The Reed public house were in shock yesterday, after a man wearing a culturally iconic but no...
organ donors

Everybody who needs new kidney to get one as fair weather motorcyclists venture outside

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The recent heat wave has meant that part-time riders and fair weather Valentino Rossi wannabes are venturing into the garage to wheel out their...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

0
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

0
The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans

10
There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...
London Underground Train

Panicked London train commuters force open doors and flee onto tracks after friendly northerner...

165
London commuters forced open the doors of a packed rush hour tube train yesterday bringing the train to a complete standstill and causing power...

Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

0
Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...
Boris Johnson

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

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Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...

0
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Congratulations

Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day

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In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

6
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...

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