Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
World in shock after professional boxer wins boxing match against amateur boxer
The sporting world is in disarray this morning after an unbeaten professional boxer won a boxing match against a bloke who hadn't had a...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail
Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...
White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach
Beachgoers were surprised by the sight of dozens of migrants scrambling out of the surf today at the Playa de los Alemanes resort in...
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
Council demolish victim’s home to erect memorial garden for dead burglar
In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place...
Kim Jong Un opens Pyonyang’s first fish and chip shop ‘Fission Chips’ to critical...
The world famous entrepreneur and basketball star, Kim Jong Un, has today opened the first fish and chip shop in North Korea.
The chippy, named...
