Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult

1
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...
Knobhead

Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead

0
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke. Gallagher, who is currently touring...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Priest

How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...

The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans. The church is...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

2
Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...

Dead burglar to get state funeral

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A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.  Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

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We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

Burnley Lidl selling Father’s Day Cards in packs of five

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With Father's Day fast approaching, supermarkets and stationary stores across the country are displaying cards and gifts for children to give to their father this Sunday. Burnley Lidl has raised a few eyebrows with its five card bundle offer.
Theresa May

Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”

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Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday. May appeared to mutter the words during a...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

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Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

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Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

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An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

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A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

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Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...

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