In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem
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Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink
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Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
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Britain First’s Paul Golding to release prison memoir ‘My Struggul’
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It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
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Employee Bill Board told...
Women in Burkhas look ridiculous, says man who looks like an overweight mop
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British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach
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Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction
The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction.
The...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
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Explosion in Burnley pie factory causes £3.14159265359 of damage
Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents.
The squat factory unit,...
Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”
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A...
Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad
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Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
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Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu.
A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
