Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping.
Dads...
Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners
Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline...
Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award
Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award.
Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...
Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.
Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned.
"It was an honest mistake and...
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN
Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...
Just £3 a month will pay for cocaine and child prostitutes for an Oxfam...
A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
Explosion in Burnley pie factory causes £3.14159265359 of damage
Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents.
The squat factory unit,...
Man falls to death after Christmas party gets out of hand
A German national has plummeted to his death after a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles got a little bit out...
Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
