World in shock after professional boxer wins boxing match against amateur boxer

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The sporting world is in disarray this morning after an unbeaten professional boxer won a boxing match against a bloke who hadn't had a...

RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports

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Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...

Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister

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With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to serve 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs together as judge couldn’t...

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Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison. The unusual move has come...

Trading Standards to prosecute Gastro Pub for using plates

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A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

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Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...
Die Hard 2

Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...

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A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

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The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

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Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...
England fans

Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...

Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...

Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...

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A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

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Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

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We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...
Dignity

Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast

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Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...

In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless

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Albion; pleasant, fair and green In the year of our Lord, 2020 Dragons were few and seldom seen, Yet poor folk were a plenty   Though dragons were vanquished...

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