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A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in the UK wear armbands with an EU logo on them. Chris...

According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord Rosetta, High Court Judge, has told reporters that Justin Milhouse,...

Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'. Corbyn cooly walked out onto the main stage of the popular...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands of them drove enormous Range Rovers to their local Waitrose...

Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents. The squat factory unit, on the Heasandford Estate, has undoubtedly boosted house prices in...

A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.  Responding to reports of an incident in Douma in which dozens of people are reported to...

Prominent Conservative backbencher, Jacob Rees-Mogg has admitted to partaking in the eighteenth century pastime of inhaling ground tobacco, otherwise known as snuff. The admission came after a leaked lithograph appeared to show the MP proudly...

A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said. As spokesman said the Border Force had dealt with four small boat incidents between 4am and 7am...

A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was sentenced this morning after being found guilty of sixteen thousand...

A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost exactly fuck all. Mark and Emma Warner, 37 and 32, found...

The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu PF. Failing that, he could be Conservative Party leader. One aide,...

Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a worker for Glasgow council for twenty years, known to his...

In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in 2010 as a “goodwill ambassador” to tackle animal welfare worldwide. World...

The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement comes just hours after another lunatic with an assault rifle...

There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President Trump. It is estimated that millions of Republicans, representing approximately 0.01%...