Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

0
A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...
Dignity

Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast

0
Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

58
Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Garda

Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse

0
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...

Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag

0
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Boris Johnson

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

0
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Farm Animals

Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion

0
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

0
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told...

Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED

0
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified. The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
England fans

Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...

Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

0
Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

0
In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...

Weight lifting record smashed at Vegan Olympics as competitor lifts his arms above head

0
Records have been tumbling all week at the very first running of The Vegan Olympics taking place in Turkey. The first big record smashed was...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...

Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism

0
An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude. The...

Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

0
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts