Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover

197
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

0
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

58
Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage

72
Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'. Corbyn...
Free Tommy Robinson

‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...

0
News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

0
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have...

Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...

0
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

0
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Theresa May

Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”

0
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday. May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Factory Fire

Explosion in Burnley pie factory causes £3.14159265359 of damage

0
Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents. The squat factory unit,...
Brian

Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’

19
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...

Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid

16
The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
Empty bus seats

Thirty nine bus seats arrested in counter-terrorism operation

30
In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

16
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts