Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told

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Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.  The news comes...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

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In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...

Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower

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Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.

Man kills woman

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A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...
Scientist

Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises

70
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...

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There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Earl Grey

Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it

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A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible. Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
Burkina

Outrage as women flout Burkini ban on Rochdale beach

110
Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

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Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

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The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

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President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Millionaire

Reader competition, win an exclusive aerial photograph of Gatwick Airport

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The Rochdale Herald is offering readers the chance of winning one of 25 high quality aerial photographs of Gatwick Airport. Gatwick Airport is one of...

Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE

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A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...

I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump

18
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
Fidget Spinners

Fidget Spinners useful to distract children from the bleak reality of future under Conservatives

4
The latest craze sweeping the nation and captivating kids of all ages is the fidget spinner. Originally designed to aid development, coordination, dexterity and to...

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