OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...

RAF successfully destroy evidence of UK chemicals exports

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Targeted strikes destroy invoices, with only minor collateral damage to Syrian accountants. RAF Bomber Command confirmed the series of raids sanctioned by the May government...
Scientist

Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises

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A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

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A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...

Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE

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A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...
Bob Geldof

Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...

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London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin. Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

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Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
hummus

Northern supermarket to trial hummus

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News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021. It is thought that...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage

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Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'. Corbyn...
Ed Sheeran

Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music

A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

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Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

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James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this,...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...

Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties

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The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...

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