Christmas Celebrations

The Big Fat Secret Santa – 10,000 presents worth £70,000 for kids in poverty!

Incredibly our appeal to buy gifts for children in poverty this year has secured more than 10,000 presents worth more than £70,000 in the last two weeks. Literally thousands of children who would otherwise have...

What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP

A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in the UK wear armbands with an EU logo on them. Chris...
Children At Christmas

It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952

It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.  You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers you'll never meet; and do you know what? It's the...

Thousands gather in North Yorkshire to see world’s first completely empty Biro

There is more travel misery anticipated for the rest of the week as tens of thousands of people are expected to continue making their way to Harrogate in North Yorkshire to see the World's...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have miraculously averted the logistics crisis at DHL by introducing an...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with having their toenails removed with pliers and being...

Kevin the Carrot beheaded by Muslims.

Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The gang carried out the audacious snatch at lunchtime yesterday, making...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have been telling me how important the ports are for trade....

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail Park. As feral locals stripped the shelves of tacky plastic goods...

Britain First’s Paul Golding to release prison memoir ‘My Struggul’

In tribute to the rabidly anti-Jewish fascist Adolf Hitler, the rabidly anti-Muslim fascist Paul Golding, former leader of Britain First, is doing a sponsored spell in prison over the nest few months. He'll be asking...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told us, "It came as...

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected veteran broadcaster, John Craven, was issued with a fixed penalty...

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with the armoured extraction convoy, the 48 bus, by three hours. The...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying in a press release that it is "very unusual but...

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