A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies.

Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily Mail and told the Herald, “In our world there is a binary division between goodies and baddies. For instance, during the Cold War there were the baddies, the Soviets, and us, the goodies. That was easy. By extension anyone who told you they were a lefty were one of the baddies because they were basically the Soviet Union”

Drusilla Williams went on to say, “Now there’s Muslim’s and their terrorism. A religion that is supposedly peaceful but actually causes suicide bombings and violence. I’d read how a man had attacked innocent passers by with a knife had been a Muslim A few days later I was on the tram in Manchester and saw a person who looked like a Muslim in the Daily Mail. She was wearing a headscarf and speaking in a foreign language. I’d read that they use their own language to plan attacks.

I told her to stop speaking in that awful language. She immediately apologised and put their phone down. It turned out she wasn’t that religious. She was actually Iranian which was a bit of an undermining of what the Daily Mail said as I thought everyone Muslim was from ISIS. She was talking to her mum who was asking her how she was settling in in England as she was studying here. I’d had the same conversation with my son the day before. Then I started thinking. I thought that it would be the baddie in a film that started yelling abuse at a stranger on their phone on the train. It was then that I started to think that maybe we’re the baddies.”

Martin Williams told the Herald, ” It was last year after the EU vote that it started. I’d booked dinner and in our triumph I’d requested that an English person serve us as we could now do that as we’d left the EU and they couldn’t dictate what was politically correct. Then when we were at dinner the waiter was Polish. I asked him if he had finished packing his bags to go home. He just meekly nodded like the servile pig that he was. But then when I got home I watched an old war film and saw this Nazi bloke in a film asking a Jew when he was going home. The home he was going to wasn’t really a home but a gas chamber. Then I realised I was asking the same questions as the guard. I was a bit worried at that point.”

Williams went on to tell the Herald, ” It was easy because Muslims ran over English people and attacked them with knives. Then some bloke last week from Western Super-Mare ran over a Muslim bloke and had knives to attack Muslims. I then began to think, If the Muslims were the baddies for running over the English then what did that make the English bloke who ran over the Muslims?”

The Herald understands that the Williams’ will cancel their subscription to the Daily Mail just as soon as they’ve completed their World at War DVD giveaway in October.