UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

0
We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

0
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

0
CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities. Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think...
Letterbox

Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes

0
Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise. There is broad...
hummus

Northern supermarket to trial hummus

0
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021. It is thought that...
Traffic Jam

Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking

0
There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Kate and William

Royal baby has already earned more than you

0
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat

0
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat. Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

2
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
Kuenssberg

Theresa May hires Laura Kuenssberg as political analyst

0
Laura Kuenssberg thrilled her BBC colleagues this evening by announcing she was leaving Aunty to work full time for Theresa May as a political...

Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack

3
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Trump Flag

All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...

0
The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months. Allegations about his...

Your Mum has a dildo

0
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.

Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel

0
United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

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