Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE

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A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

53
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

3
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

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Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...

What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP

1
A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in...
Foreign Languages

British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch

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According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord...
Zizzi

Yulia Skripal leaves Zizzi’s Salisbury 1 star TripAdvisor review

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Yulia Skripal has left her first TripAdvisor review since being poisoned last month. Ms Skripal said, "I was in the country visiting my father in...

Couple still at bottle bank

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A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.

Damien Green MP makes xxxpenses claim for Porn Hub premium membership

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Allegations have recently arisen that Conservative MP and incumbent minister of the cabinet office, Damian Green MP had been browsing and downloading 'thousands' of...
Tony Blair tattoo

Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo

66
Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

0
A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

0
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

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Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...
Oldham

Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans

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The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...

Ugly scenes at Rochdale Waitrose as supplies of Chateau Lafite de Rothschild 2009 run...

25
There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers...

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