Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery

0
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many...
Oldham

Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans

0
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

0
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Teenage Pregnancy

Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19

0
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

0
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

0
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

0
An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Boris Johnson

Women in Burkhas look ridiculous, says man who looks like an overweight mop

0
Boris Johnson has once again found himself under fire due to comments he made likening women who wear Burqas and Niqabs in appearance to...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

0
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...
Die Hard 2

Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...

0
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Plumber

London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers

5
London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...
Nigel Farage

If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...

0
Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...

Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

0
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...
Rees Mogg

Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France

0
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts