We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
Theresa May to raise voting age to 35
Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Tony Montana to become new White House communications director
Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today.
Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.
“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales
The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Woman’s bad mood CURED by random bloke telling her to ‘smile’
A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love,...
Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night.
Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket
Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally.
Previously well respected...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
