Michael Gove

Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad

0
The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

0
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

0
There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

0
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

0
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...

Cute dog is a savage little shit

85
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards. The survey which was carried...

Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery

0
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

0
An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Bono

Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite

49
The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

0
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

11
Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...

Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

0
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...

Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel

0
United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

0
POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...
hiker

People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...

0
The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.
Tony Blair tattoo

Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo

66
Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts