Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

55
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

0
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

0
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

0
Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...
Ryanair

Ryanair to charge depressed passengers for emotional baggage

75
Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said...

Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat

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A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat. Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

2
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...

0
JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.

Elderly Leave voter mistakes Hovis advert for childhood memories

30
An elderly leave voter has been telling the Herald about his childhood and it's very similar to the Hovis advert. Roy Bader, 72, who's never...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

0
Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...

Cute dog is a savage little shit

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A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards. The survey which was carried...

Fears for local man missing in Ikea

0
Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days. Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...

Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

0
There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Spa Day

Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...

51
In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Golfer

Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...

2
Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.

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