Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...
Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...
Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 3,001 Christmas Presents worth £24,522.45 for kids in...
I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.
My earliest memories are of Christmas. I remember the excitement...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket
There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight
Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...
Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back
A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...
Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Inner city youths escape prison for dogfighting by wearing red jackets and calling people...
Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient...
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...
Facebook ruining Christmas for kids in poverty
Facebook in their infinite wisdom have smashed the holy hell out of the reach of comedy pages likes ours, NewsThump, Tuckered and SNN.
Apparently they...
‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire
In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...
Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement.
Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said;
"We...
