Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

0
Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

0
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Sajid Javid

Sajid Javid accidentally deports himself to Pakistan

0
Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan. A Home Office spokesman said, "Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

0
A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

0
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
Beer

Sad wankers unable to even part a Londoner from his beer

0
Sad little wankers have today expressed dismay that their plans to sow fear into our communities and bring about the downfall of society have...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

0
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...

World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...

The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.
Boris Johnson

Women in Burkhas look ridiculous, says man who looks like an overweight mop

0
Boris Johnson has once again found himself under fire due to comments he made likening women who wear Burqas and Niqabs in appearance to...

Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check

0
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Inflation

Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor

1
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
Nigel Farage

If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...

0
Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

0
A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.
Kate and William

Royal baby has already earned more than you

0
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

0
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts