Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

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POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...
Mo Farah

QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD

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According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword. A...
Michael Gove

Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad

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The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

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?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

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Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

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The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
Spa Day

Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...

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In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

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The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

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Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Sad Child

Facebook ruining Christmas for kids in poverty

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Facebook in their infinite wisdom have smashed the holy hell out of the reach of comedy pages likes ours, NewsThump, Tuckered and SNN. Apparently they...
David Davis

David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks

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The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks. It's believed the replacement of Mr....
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

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There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President...
Christmas Celebrations

The Big Fat Secret Santa – 10,000 presents worth £70,000 for kids in poverty!

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Incredibly our appeal to buy gifts for children in poverty this year has secured more than 10,000 presents worth more than £70,000 in the...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

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The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...

Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’

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53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years. The heroic soldier...

Civilised countries don’t gas civilians, they shoot them with AR-15s bought over counter at...

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The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.  Responding to reports of an incident...

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