What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP

1
A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in...

Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty

65
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Zizzi

Yulia Skripal leaves Zizzi’s Salisbury 1 star TripAdvisor review

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Yulia Skripal has left her first TripAdvisor review since being poisoned last month. Ms Skripal said, "I was in the country visiting my father in...

Your Mum has a dildo

0
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Christmas Morning

Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 3,001 Christmas Presents worth £24,522.45 for kids in...

0
I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.  My earliest memories are of Christmas. I remember the excitement...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn urges Labour MP’s to get behind Theresa May or risk making him...

0
Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit...

Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales

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The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

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The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

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A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

12
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

0
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Golfer

Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...

2
Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...

0
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool. He moves...
Millionaire

Reader competition, win an exclusive aerial photograph of Gatwick Airport

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The Rochdale Herald is offering readers the chance of winning one of 25 high quality aerial photographs of Gatwick Airport. Gatwick Airport is one of...
Dog covered in fox shit

If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...

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A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance. Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...

Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory

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A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High...

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