Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

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Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
Brian Cox

Brian Cox to face Hague war crimes tribunal for 1997 hit Things Can Only...

Brian Cox is due to face a hearing at The Hague this week to face the charge that he is responsible for the deaths of more than one million Iraqis.

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

7
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants

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The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit. Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...
Stevenage

Slums angered after being compared to Stevenage by Lewis Hamilton

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Lewis Hamilton has upset slums all over the world by comparing them to Stevenage. The five-time Formula 1 world champion made the faux pas while...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

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Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

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A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...

Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again

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People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago. Stan...

Expenses scandal as Jeremy Corbyn claims £30,000 for Hi5 tuition

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been embarrassed again this week, as he miss-judged yet another high five. Last week the allotment gardening marxist patted fellow MP...

Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy

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More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

11
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

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Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...
Theresa May

Deselecting MPs implicated in electoral fraud before election “Hadn’t occurred to me” claims PM

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The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

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Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

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The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35

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Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.  An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...

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