‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

6
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

0
An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Dog Window

Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in

0
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
Letterbox

Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes

0
Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise. There is broad...
Cyclist

Man attends Halloween party dressed as cyclist

0
A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan...
Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

0
Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

0
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...
Theresa May

Deselecting MPs implicated in electoral fraud before election “Hadn’t occurred to me” claims PM

0
The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

23
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...

Clock in car mysteriously right again

0
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

44
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

Elderly Leave voter mistakes Hovis advert for childhood memories

30
An elderly leave voter has been telling the Herald about his childhood and it's very similar to the Hovis advert. Roy Bader, 72, who's never...

Your Mum has a dildo

0
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson arrested outside Big Brother house for live streaming name of 1st evictee

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Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

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Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...

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