Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

0
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...
Donald Trump

Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...

0
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

11
Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...

Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants

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The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit. Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

0
Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...
Lucky Childless Bastards

Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday

0
A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

0
In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...
Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

0
The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...

Ugly scenes at Rochdale Waitrose as supplies of Chateau Lafite de Rothschild 2009 run...

25
There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

0
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

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Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Dog covered in fox shit

If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...

0
A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance. Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

21
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...

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