Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage
The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...
‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81
An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies.
Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...
Ant and Dec to serve 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs together as judge couldn’t...
Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison.
The unusual move has come...
Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet
WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...
NHS crisis averted after 33,500 nurses found down back of sofa
Whitehall: There has been widespread relief around the UK after reports that the deepening staffing crisis in the NHS has been averted after tens...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Slums angered after being compared to Stevenage by Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton has upset slums all over the world by comparing them to Stevenage.
The five-time Formula 1 world champion made the faux pas while...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
Earthquake rescue workers reassured that Wales is fine, it’s supposed to look like that
Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Neath in South Wales following...
