But ma guns.

A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and the West Bank/Gaza combined. Even Latin American countries over run with drug cartels with murder rates comparable to war zones have fewer guns. Shit, even literal war zones have less heavy weaponry. The NRA would have you believe that this helps make citizens safer. Yet, once again, here we are, with loads of people getting shot. Imagine that. Guns that fire bullets being used to fire bullets. You utter dipshits.

But ma guns.

If you compare gun ownership levels with homicide rates, do you think you might see a link? Well heck yeah, guns and homicides go together like the word Trump and foul smelling gas. Put simply, if mah fellow Americans have easy access to guns they are more likely to kill me. This has been analysed both across 26 developed countries and even on a state to state level within the US.

It means more school shootings.

Evidence from other countries that have taken action after mass shootings, like Australia and the UK, is that homicide rates and mass shootings decrease markedly. People don’t just switch to other weapons either, non-firearm related homicides stayed at roughly the same level after the Australian gun reform in 1996.

Gun access also means more suicides.

Or even as happened just recently, a toddler shooting other toddlers. I mean WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT. Two 3 year old boys shot by another toddler in Michigan last week were at least the 42nd and 43rd people to get shot by a child under the age of 4 this year – and those stats are likely an undercount given that minor injuries are probably kept quiet by the embarrassed parents.

Did you know a majority of Americans actually support very strict gun laws? And that support rises dramatically when it is for things that other countries might find PERFECTLY GODDAMN OBVIOUS like the suggestion you might want to do a background check before selling someone a gun. The majority of mass shootings in America happen with legally acquired guns. Does this tell you anything?

But ma hunting. Well that’s fine – but who the actual fuck hunts deer with an automatic weapon?

But ma guns. Ma second amendment. The second amendment of course refers to a “well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State” not that you would know that. Of course that just means the jumped up NRA turds also like to form militias so they can live action role play when attending the latest tiki torch twattery. They think this would allow them to stand up to the State if the State was being oppressive.

Well if you’re going to tell me that some old white dude can stand up to the US Army, I’m going to tell you that you need to respect your troops a bit more. What they can do though is shoot hundreds of people at a music concert in Las Vegas. So yes, every single NRA member standing in the way of gun reform has those deaths on their hands.

Stop being so bloody minded and you might have less bloody hands.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?