Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Many Muslims not rioting in streets
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour.
Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
Damien Green MP makes xxxpenses claim for Porn Hub premium membership
Allegations have recently arisen that Conservative MP and incumbent minister of the cabinet office, Damian Green MP had been browsing and downloading 'thousands' of...
Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island
Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today.
Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer.
Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
Satire Aid has bought 3,500 presents worth more than £31,000!
A quick Satire Aid update for you. The amazing readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Tuckered, U Ok Hun and Angry People in Local...
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring...
