Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot.
Current Work and...
Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy
POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on.
The announcement comes as his administration complained...
Kim Jong Un opens Pyonyang’s first fish and chip shop ‘Fission Chips’ to critical...
The world famous entrepreneur and basketball star, Kim Jong Un, has today opened the first fish and chip shop in North Korea.
The chippy, named...
Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad
The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...
Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving
May means May
Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving. The train, which is rapidly...
Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru
Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
No arrests made as gang of white people chase group of black men through...
Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a small group...
