A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for drugs and sex with children for Aid workers.

“Obviously our paedophiles are a long way from home and have little access to running water or internet child pornography.”

The Chairman of Oxfam international, Juan Alberto Fuentes, who is facing charges of corruption in Guatemala told The Rochdale Herald from his prison cell.

“A donation of just three pound a month will pay for the multi-million pound salary bill for Oxfam executives and what’s left over can fund sex parties with vulnerable children in disaster zones.”

“Please give generously.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.