Business

Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

0
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just blatant paranoia," said Lord Jerry Mandarin MBE, OBE, "It just...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May

0
Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the country. Activate spokesperson, Randy Carrington-Phurr, confirmed with the Rochdale Herald the...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...

0
Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.

Famous Welshman will undergo treatment for addiction to public humiliation

0
Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation. In fact, so ready is he to debase himself in public he’s likely to challenge Jeremy...

Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses

5
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of the competition. As with any success in this field, there is...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

0
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby" Angelo, a retired pot dealer and part-time chip shop owner...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

0
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to be paying full price for sofas and hearth rugs for...
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

0
The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face food, medicine and fuel shortages after Brexit. Many experts are now...
Theresa May

May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election

0
Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations. The Prime Minister will require the support of two-thirds of MPs to go to the country, with...

Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee

0
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences. "It's an outrage!" stated Morris Simple, a Rochdale builder and flag waving aficionado. "I was...
A "xenophobic" Englishman listening to Nicola Sturgeon

English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony

0
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”

Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.

30
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been working together for over twenty years, are celebrating their biggest...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

12
Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair. Players will be able to play...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

2
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational first-time buyers, there has never been a better time to...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

0
Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over Brexit was 'Don't worry your pretty little head about it,...
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

1
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister and recorder is unhappy with the way the government are...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts