Theresa May

Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”

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Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday. May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

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Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

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Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...
Inflation

Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor

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Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.

Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish

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Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Happy Student

We just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody we don’t execute in the...

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Politics - A leading light in the Momentum movement has told The Rochdale Herald that they just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

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Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

Blair and Branson to form New Virgin Labour

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An email leaked to the Independent has revealed that billionaire Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson (MBE OBE BFD) is to bankroll Lord Sir Tony...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

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A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...

Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week

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Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced. The officers, obese men dressed in...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

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Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

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Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...

Make America Great Again

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We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...

Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators

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Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...

£1.3 billion Cameron scheme a failure

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A scheme launched in 2012 by Cameron's government as a response to the 2011 riots has been an unmitigated failure, according to a report...

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