Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

1
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...
Hungry

Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old

0
In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects. "Will I...

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

0
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

0
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Amber Rudd

The name Amber is quite Indian – Say Newly Appointed Head of UK KGB

0
The Home Secretary was tonight believed to be on the run from her own creation, the Keepers of Great Britain.
Donald Trump

Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats

0
Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...
Houses of Parliament

New dress code requires MPs to wear oven gloves in Parliament at all times

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The UK Parliament's Committee on Standards has announced plans to require all male MPs to wear oven gloves whenever they attend the building. The Committee...

Department Responsible For Brexit Does A Flit

0
Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European...

Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.

0
The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...
corbyn

Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party

0
The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party. Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

0
Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...

May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters

0
The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

0
In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

0
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...

Not enough evidence to convict Danczuk of rape says CPS

0
The Crown Prosecution Service has declined to prosecute Simon "Shagger" Danczuk on the basis that they are not confident they will secure a conviction.

Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls

0
Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...

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