Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP
UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself
UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...
Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster.
Barnier, a...
Bottoms up for Nuttall
In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past.
"Now...
Jeremy Corbyn threatens to remove ISIS leaders from Christmas Card List
Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott have taken the bold step to thoroughly condemn the actions of ISIS supporters this week and are preparing to...
If anyone is going to offer stable leadership it’s us, say bolted horses
Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote
Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.
He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP
A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Leadsom’s Children ‘Huge Drain’ On The NHS, Blast Critics
A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace.
Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for...
