Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable

0
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Foodbank

Tories target youth vote by giving food bank users under 30 free Wham Bars

0
The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they...

UK Benefits to be given to EVERY citizen of the Commonwealth due to admin...

0
The government recently updated its IT infrastructure with shocking consequences potentially costing the UK economy billions. The glitch will see the 2.1 billion members of...

Britain First Demands Mornington Crescent Be Renamed Mornington Cross

0
“If they want to have religious symbol in the name, they should rename it Mornington Cross, a proper Christian symbol, much more British,” Golding said.

Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged

0
Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election. Speaking to...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

2
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...

Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

0
Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

0
Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
Houses of Parliament

New dress code requires MPs to wear oven gloves in Parliament at all times

0
The UK Parliament's Committee on Standards has announced plans to require all male MPs to wear oven gloves whenever they attend the building. The Committee...
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative

25
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country. Compassion has been on the rise recently...
Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

0
Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...

Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers

19
Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

0
Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

41
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

Impolite scenes disrupt Moderates against Moderation demo

There were tense scenes outside the former Waitrose building in Rochdale's upmarket Falinge Estate yesterday after crowds of militant political moderates and progressives clashed...

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