Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP

0
Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.

Anti-facemask campaigners in balaclavas thrilled about Austrian Burkha ban

2
In a welcome development for table thumping foam merchants from the far right, all face coverings have been banned in Austria. For years, members far...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

0
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

0
Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

0
In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...
Theresa May

Deselecting MPs implicated in electoral fraud before election “Hadn’t occurred to me” claims PM

0
The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is...
David Cameron

Cameron brings attention to himself to avoid attention being on him

0
David Cameron, pig-fiddling, radish-faced ex-PM has decided to step down as an MP. Cameron, who nobody has so much as glanced at in Parliament since...

May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters

0
The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...

Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull 

0
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Gays

Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations

1
Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

0
It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle

0
Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government's chief political advisor - effective immediately,...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

0
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

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