Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

6
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".

Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party

0
After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure. The Tory Party has long...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

0
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

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Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...

Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt

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Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead. "Obviously we don't...

Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options

5
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
Turkey

Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”

0
Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done." "We've been...
Theresa May

Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means

0
Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

0
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk

2
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a...
Florence

Theresa May to prove in Florence it’s not just British people who don’t listen...

0
The British Prime Minister is today at the EU Summit in Florence to give a landmark speech to a 4,000 seat amphitheatre containing one...

Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car

0
Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today. David "What Am I...

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

0
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...

Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal

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In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal. White,...
High Court

Stop proroguing, tidy your room, and wash that sock, rule UK’s few remaining grown...

0
After spending several weeks in his room, claiming to be "revising" legislation, the PM has finally been told to put his Johnson down.  "Stop...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

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Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....

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