David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...
Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party
The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party.
Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...
Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land
At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except...
Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs
Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull.
The...
May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.
The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...
Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future
Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech
Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...
We either hunt foxes or your children says Theresa May
With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats...
Dirty Politics
Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets
With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country.
Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many...
Jacob Rees-mogg urged to fund charity ‘The Rees-mogg Foundation for mothers who conceive via...
Jacob Rees-mogg was urged today to fund a new charity to back up his assertion that life begins at conception, and no matter how...
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
