Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

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Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...
Tim Farron

Party that said it would only form coalition with Tories confused why people think...

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That bloke in charge of the Liberal Democrats and Vince Cable are confused today as people keep calling them Tory lite. “We’re totally against Brexit,”...
Amber Rudd

The name Amber is quite Indian – Say Newly Appointed Head of UK KGB

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The Home Secretary was tonight believed to be on the run from her own creation, the Keepers of Great Britain.

New UKIP leader already third longest serving leader after both Nigel Farages

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Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...

Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.

David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas

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A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...

Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish

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Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...

Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith

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Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife. Mr. Smith told...

We either hunt foxes or your children says Theresa May

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With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats...

Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding

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The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester. Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg frustrated by number of GDPR messenger pigeons arriving at his dovecot

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Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the...

CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud

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Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...

Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

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Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
Michael Gove

Gove is still bonkers, say experts

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Michael Gove decided to stand up for those whose lack of self awareness is pathological today.

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit

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Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...

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