Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy
Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...
Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.
Both leaders...
Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...
Blairite Entryism Not A Big Deal, Insist Blairites
It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the...
Barnier threatens UK leaflet drop to explain Brexit dangers Davis predicts boom days for...
EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving...
Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity.
It's believed...
UKIP Neighbour in Festive Twat Fiasco
A member of UKIP has made the news after showing the good old, British, Christian spirit: he's built a large billboard to piss off...
Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off.
"I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom
David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...
Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row
Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP.
Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...
Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit
In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...
