Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt
A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole.
Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...
Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster.
Barnier, a...
Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban
International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...
May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election
Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations.
The Prime Minister will require the support...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats
Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...
Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways
Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today.
As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Corbyn hospitalised after collapse
Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .
The incident occurred just moments after...
Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin
It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...
Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...
Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...
English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
