EU promises Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue nationals from UK “BREXKRIEG”
The European Commission has confirmed that it has prepared plans to launch a Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue EU nationals in the event that...
Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’
In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying;
"Everything I...
British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...
Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Dirty Politics
Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...
May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...
Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline
The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.
Lib Dems form armed wing in desperate bid to remain relevant
The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some...
Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing
Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button.
As cheers rang out across the nation it...
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit
In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...
Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains
Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...
High Court allows Royal Prerogative to execute Daily Mail editor for treason
In a bold move the UK judiciary has ruled to suspend Parliamentary Sovereignty to allow the UK Government to use the Royal Prerogative to round up and chop the heads off the editors of The Daily Mail, The Daily Express and The Sun.
