Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim
Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim.
The emergency services responded...
UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Conservative MPs unable to point to their constituency on a map
A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map.
The survey results, which were...
David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...
Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot.
Current Work and...
Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker
Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Trump Makes Farage “Hand of the King” – Hillary to “Take the Black” &...
Following his seizure of the Irony Throne, Donald Trump has moved quickly to form his Small Hands Council.
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May
Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs
Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs.
The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’
There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.
Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it.
A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders
The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union.
Ms May was...
