Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook
Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...
Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’
Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz.
The...
Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit
Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn
Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...
Jeremy Corbyn’s children still enjoying playing with their new coal
Jeremy Corbyn’s children reportedly had a brilliant Christmas and are still enjoying playing with the new coal their Dad bought them.
Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke
Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke.
"Everything was looking good,...
Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans
A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed.
The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...
Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”
In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...
Theresa May Reacts Angrily To Snowden Sith Slur
Edward Snowden, the famous whistle-blower and internet freedom campaigner, has angered unelected PM Theresa May (or May not but she's not going to give...
You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke
Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election.
“I want to...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus
With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters
An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest.
The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
