London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector
After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role.
A tory deflector will typically take...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration.
"It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical
Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick...
Corbyn says it’s the pits for May
Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner's Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy...
I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox
Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...
Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...
Trump marks Martin Luther King weekend with burning cross on White House Lawn
US President elect, Donald Trump, will be hosting a tribute event for Martin Luther Day
Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit
Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...
DUP refuse deal with Theresa May saying we don’t negotiate with terrorists
Arlene Foster has returned to Belfast after failing to agree a power sharing deal with Theresa May saying she won't negotiate with terrorists.
The key...
Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
New UKIP leader had hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I”m not a racist, but”...
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today by stating that UKIP’s new leader has undergone hypnotherapy to stop him saying...
