Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

1
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Amazon

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

2
Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...
Denis Skinner

Labour foreign policy just Dennis Skinner with a cricket bat

0
Jeremy Corbyn's anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs. "He'll lie down and let anyone who wants to do...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Donald Trump ends democracy in America

22
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

0
Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

0
Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick...
Boris Johnson

Ed Millibland defeated again at PMQ’s

0
Leader of the Opposition, Boris Johnson, once again tore into Mr. Millibland's 'weak' and 'out of touch' Government. Since successfully leading the remain campaign in...

Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals

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The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

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Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...

17
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...
Prime Numbers

Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers

0
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

2
Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...

Sick Home Sec sacked?

0
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

11
The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....

Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton

4
The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...

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