Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

0
A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...
Theresa May

May supported by Cabinet, which was put together by same carpenter who hung Conference...

0
The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she...
Science Class

DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’

0
There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

0
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

0
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...
Theresa May

Prime Minister Hospitalised After Strong and Stable Seizure

0
Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure. The incident occurred while...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Collection of London souvenirs

POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit

0
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit... Some chap who won...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

0
In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

0
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...
Interrogation

Torture works say fictional super villains and Donald Trump

2
Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works". "I've racked my brains to find...
Pepe the frog

Meme Jihadis Trump Clinton

0
Pepe the frog has admitted today that he was behind the success of Donald Trump in the recent US presidential elections. "Presidential? Fix-a-dential more like!...

Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...

27
It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...

Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

1
Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...

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