Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

0
The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

21
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

0
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...

Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.
Government

Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...

1
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

3
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...

Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...

0
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...

UKIP Conference cancelled due to Tory success

0
The annual gathering of UKIP, scheduled for 16th September, will now not go ahead reports say. "We have been watching the racism and general xenophobia...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

0
Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...
Theresa May

Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...

11
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research. Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...
Tim Farron

Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power

The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...
Riot Police

Anarchists admit riot police look pretty cool despite differences

2
Dave Vidual, Head Chair of the National Association of Anarchists, said yesterday in a shockingly frank admission that most anarchists, while diametrically opposed to...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

0
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

0
A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...
Refugees Welcome

Fury as UK migration laws mean that London will be SWAMPED with Brummies by...

0
Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With...

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