UKIP elects Diane James leader
Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage.
People outside of...
Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Stop being rebellious formerly rebellious Labour rebel tells rebellious Labour rebels
The formerly rebellious Labour rebel, Jeremy Corbyn, has told rebellious Labour rebels to stop being rebellious or else.
Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”
Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done."
"We've been...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...
Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia.
The foreign secretary said...
Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin
It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...
Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’
Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...
Boris Johnson feared dead?
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...
May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters
The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...
David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity
Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...
New UKIP leader had hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I”m not a racist, but”...
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today by stating that UKIP’s new leader has undergone hypnotherapy to stop him saying...
French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais
British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...
