Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

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There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...

Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

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Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...

Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter

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British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...

Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules

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Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
Border Collie Sunglasses

Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister

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Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

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The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

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Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn to lose seat under Tory boundary change plans

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Lord Reginald Foxhunter-Shandy said: "It's the biggest boundary shake up since the last one". The plans unveiled today will see Jeremy Corbyn lose his Islington...

That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan

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His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement: "I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...

Paul Nuttall Converted To Islam

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Paul Nuttall has retracted a claim on his Facebook page from 2009 that he converted to Islam after sharing a kebab with Mohammed Ali. "I never...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

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Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

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Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

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President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...

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