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Thatcher in the Rye

Theresa May autobiography ‘Thatcher In The Rye’ for September release

Controversy was the buzz word in the publishing world today with news that Theresa May has handed in the manuscript for her autobiography "Thatcher In The Rye", scheduled for release in September. Details of the...
Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an anonymous address which  but it appears to have been sent...

Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car

The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot Cars have tragically died in hot car during a shopping...

Tim Farron quits politics to record Judy Garland cover album

Tim Farron has sensationally quit the leadership of the Liberal Democrats this week to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a full time Judy Garland impersonator.

Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in tatters. After delivering his farewell speech Clegg was approached by an...

Big Bruva

Millions are in shock today after discovering that Big Brother is still a thing, whilst their fans are horrified that the utter numpties they are watching have been on other shows full of numpties. "I...

Corbyn to star in Snatch sequel as Brad Pitt not mad enough

Amateur street fighter and leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy 'The Knitter' Corbyn, has been cast as Mickey O'Neil in the sequel to Guy Ritchie's smash hit "Snatch". The sequel will be called "Snatch...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all who provide “safe spaces” for Bieber - in “real life”...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger was said to look 'visibly shaken', as he frantically searched...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while on a mad Bucky bender many years ago. "I was out...

Corbyn criticised over links to NWA

Controversial Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been heavily criticised for his links to rap group NWA. A picture of Jeremy "terrorists are my mates" Corbyn sipping gin and juice with rapper Easy E has been largely shared across social media.

Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice

Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.

Katie Hopkins replaced by audio book of Mein Kampf narrated by Paul Nuttall

Until LBC can find a suitable successor to Katie Hopkins her slot will be filled by a looped recording of Mein Kampf, narrated by Paul Nuttall. LBC's controversial move was decided upon as an attempt...

Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.

Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her excrement. Despite several years of various media outlets offering her extravagant...

Vic Reeves Corrie Storyline Leaked

After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got to work hacking Granada for the scripts and have now...

Russians say Donald Trump and Mr Blobby never seen in room together

Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past. “We look into all our allies,” said Sergi Vasilev, former KGB killer and advisor...

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