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Rochdale, UK

Middle East Side Story

A controversial piece of performance theatre is set to premiere at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre shortly before Christmas this year: Director Sheldon Jervis announced plans to open the 'experimental and hard hitting but, ultimately fun,...

Southern Trains to rebrand as Southern Replacement Bus Service

There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.

Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5 years. "This JuicelifeHealthwonder Plus opportunity is totally different from all those...

Rochdale worries as EU funding crisis hits Cornish supply chain

Mark Duddridge, chairman of the Cornwall and Isles of Scilly Local Enterprise Partnership, has said he wants a guarantee from the UK Government that the funds will keep coming, even after Brexit is complete. In...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of Christmas lighting this year.  The energy companies are concerned that with...

Halcyon Days Here to Stay

  Alexander Boris de Pfeffle Johnson won't even be declared as head of the Tory Party until the needless sham of a leadership election is publicly played out in a futile attempt to convince the...

IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range

Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the depleted pockets of the post Brexit British public. Speaking to the...

Hot Deals in Rochdale Black Friday Price Crash! – Don’t miss out!

Rochdale is going nuts this Friday with mega deals accross the town centre. Grab a bargain, they're giving it away.  Literally! -Head down to Scope on Friday and a get a cool 10p off their 50p...

Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot

The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn complete with the timeless Milky Bar Kid, horse and famous...

Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry

A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International Trade, former Secretary of State for Defence, and enthusiastic poultry...

Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”

UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black Friday.  The campaign which urges people not to buy a single...

Phil Spencer really was a Secret Agent

In an ironic illustration of life imitating art it was revealed today that Channel 4 property porn star, Phil Spencer, really did operate as a secret agent in the late 1990's. Spencer's new autobiography 'How...

Apple to move to Battersea iStation

Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London’s Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan welcomed the move from the tech giant and said that...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of England's new £5 notes. 'Tallowgate l', as it became known, sparked...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about high overdraft charges. Quentin D. Fortesqueue, editor of The Rochdale Herald,...
Snobbish man

85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective

Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective. Eric Pode (40), a shopper in the Croydon branch and a keen amateur...

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