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Rochdale, UK
Emma watson

Emma Watson ridiculed by mysoginistic pig of journalist at The Sun

A tragic, privileged, middle-class man wrote a vile 'article' today about Emma Watson, an extremely clever young lady, after she made a very impressive speech to the UN in New York.  Emma Watson was in...
Michael Gove

Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Crabb Green, said; "This is a fantastic opportunity...

Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury

In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) has resigned from the post of Archbishop of...
The Daily Mail

Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners

Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline into casual racism. “I first noticed the symptoms in my dad...
Paul Nuttall

Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election

NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining close personal friends were killed in the Swedish terror attack...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in 2049 will be spear-headed by a new slogan, one more...

Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish Garda are now considering prosecuting other celebrity blasphemers. The most notable example...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.

Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble – this includes Something Special, a programme with millions of...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil hat in the White House and is equipping all his...
George Michael

George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’

The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon Mr. Robin Hart said; "I like George Michael, don't get me...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire

In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park

People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...

The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.  A Scottish schoolgirl told him that her reasoned political viewpoint was that...

Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans

There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came together to help a fat man out of his trousers. Steve...
Katie Hopkins

Court sentences Katie Hopkins to be burned at the stake as a witch

In a shock move Friday, a UK libel court has ordered that controversial Daily Mail colonist and professional bigot, Katie Hopkins be burned at the stake as a witch. Hopkins was in court facing an...

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