“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...

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Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him. In an interview with...

It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians

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Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....

Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...

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Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...

Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower

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IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner...

Europol warns of New Wave jihadis

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Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.  Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

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The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...

No binary education says May

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

GCSE Results Spell Success for Dyslexic Pupils

Students at Maple Hayes Dyslexia Scool in Lichfield have been celebrating incredible GCSE exam success. While many students couldn't read or write when they first...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

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David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...

Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

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Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone

A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos

Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday. Officials said "that...

Galloway Still Not Gone Away

Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.  The ex-Labour MP...

Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...

Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..

Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens...

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