Christmas Giving

The Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 1,024 presents in first 24 hours

Yesterday we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network and Angry People in...
Brussels Cathedral

New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral

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Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief...

Conservative Party logo to be replaced with picture of Priti Patel’s smirk

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The Conservative Party are to replace their established 'oak tree' logo with a graphic representation of Priti Patel's smirking face, the Herald can reveal.   The...

“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen

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One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...

Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary

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The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...

Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children

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Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems

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Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron. In a speech...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

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There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...

Galloway Still Not Gone Away

Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.  The ex-Labour MP...

Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor

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In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint...

Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump

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A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA...

Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.

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Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...

Gavin Williamson declares war on schools

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Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...

Farron leaving politics to watch VHS of “Brokeback Mountain” in mountains with friend

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Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...

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