UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website

The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site. Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...

Flag waving celebration of mythical empire shouldn’t be ruined by cheap politics

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The Last Night at the Proms, an event where ex public school toffs wave the Union Flag in celebration of a completely made up...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...

Galloway Still Not Gone Away

Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.  The ex-Labour MP...
Rochdale Primary School

Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play

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Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

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Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...

Beards still cool, insists man with beard

As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales...
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Revelation as Mercury rises for blue plaque

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Freddie Mercury, lead singer of rock sensations Queen, has been commemorated with a blue plaque at his former family home in Feltham.  However, in a...

Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader 

Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists." This was because the...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...

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That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...

Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges

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"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on...

Trident finally put on Ebay

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The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.  It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...

A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Santa with presents

8,179 presents worth more than £61,400 bought for disadvantaged children

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You guys are incredible. Less than twelve hours ago we learned through Angry People in Local Newspapers that the gift appeal for poor children...

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