Theresa May (licence)

Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.

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Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Scientist

Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...

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Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...
Christmas Presents

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...

Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader 

Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists." This was because the...

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

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Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...

‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look

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After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos

Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday. Officials said "that...
Hippies Hippy

Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal

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A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival. Despite there being music, dancing...
Britain First

Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed

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Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...

Internet user deliberately clicks on pop-over advert and makes history 

A man from Bury in Lancashire has deliberately and purposefully clicked on a pop up ad that covered the entirety of the content he...

Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...

Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...

Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

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Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

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