Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea
A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea.
The...
“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen
One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...
Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone
A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone
Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit...
Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage
A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...
Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems
Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron.
In a speech...
Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform
Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform.
Mr...
Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed
Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...
That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...
Beards officially still cool – says man with beard
It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...




















































