Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media 

There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...

Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”

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A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...

Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems

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Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron. In a speech...
Finger painting

Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...

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Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...
Neuroscience

Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience

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It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience. The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...

Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies

Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives. The crowds...

Beards Not Cool After All

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24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...

Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs

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A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access. David...

Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me

Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.  "I was...

Rochdale RHS Britain in Bloom judges catch a Bellsprout

Members of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) were visiting Rochdale this week as part of the judging of the North West in Bloom competition. Each...
Couple with dog

Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car

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do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA...

Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

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Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Daily Mail Readers

Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...

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The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
London Marathon

Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another

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Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started...
Top Hats

Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup

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Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...

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