Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services

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A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...

Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic

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US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...

Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night

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Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...

M1 & M6 become sentient

The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...

Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary

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The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...

Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat

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Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.  Officer Colin McNigelson told...

A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...

Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website

The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site. Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...

“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen

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One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...
Blackhole

Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties

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The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel. The...

Road naming honour for Info Wars ‘journalist’ Paul Watson in his home town of...

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In a bid to balance the left leaning opinions of Mayor Magid Magid, Sheffield City Council have unveiled a new road in the south...

Religious leader applauds honour killing in US

A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...

Coroner rules man killed by falling trophy cabinet victim of his own success

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The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was...

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