Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’
A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'.
Usually opting for an...
Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone
Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit...
Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Revelation as Mercury rises for blue plaque
Freddie Mercury, lead singer of rock sensations Queen, has been commemorated with a blue plaque at his former family home in Feltham.
However, in a...
Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website
The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site.
Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Farron leaving politics to watch VHS of “Brokeback Mountain” in mountains with friend
Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly...
Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth
DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down.
The...
Beards still cool, insists man with beard
As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales...
Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview
A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.
Duncan Merchant from Rochdale,...
Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...
Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about.
Following...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Spain v Russia VAR officials wives and children released from captivity
Members of the VAR officials team for the Russia V Spain game have been speaking of their joy at being reunited with their families again.
The...
Beards Not Cool After All
24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...
