Scientist

Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...

0
Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...

World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...

4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays

0
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Space Rocket

Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash

0
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash. The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...

Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth

0
DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down. The...

Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth 

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

9
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

0
The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...
Brussels Cathedral

New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral

0
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief...

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone

A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...

Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader 

Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists." This was because the...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

0
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...
Rochdale Primary School

Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play

0
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...

‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa

0
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...

Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

0
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts