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The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I've ever experienced".   Speaking to reporters outside...

The Conservative Party are to replace their established 'oak tree' logo with a graphic representation of Priti Patel's smirking face, the Herald can reveal.   The new logo, which will feature a close-up of the smirk...

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from constantly going on completely free five star holidays all the...

Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives in boxes of chicken in the UK. Denver West McDonald's Store...

There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics committee Stavros Davros gave his approval for a proposed Autumn...

Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly re-elected with only 700 votes. The Westmoreland and Lonsdale MP lost...

IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner was all it took to send him to dreamland. We understand...

A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union believes that pretty soon there will be no commuters left,...

As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales of beards and lumberjack accessories continuing to soar. The forecast is...

Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists to have less substance than the Tory manifesto; less conscience...

Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced cashier calling for a new till to be open. So far...

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor of the paper, and will replace Geordie Greig later this...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The National trust was published. After thirty years of saying that every...

A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend. Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party at a friend's second holiday home (well, strictly speaking third)...

Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started watching the Marathon and I don't know what came over...

The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance sheets. The hedge fund managers have been finding trading difficult in...