Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge
Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor
In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint...
Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone
A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Trump to produce new range of fragrances
Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes.
The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather
Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident
Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash.
The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea
A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea.
The...
Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
Britain First Supporters admit it’s a waste of time trying to change their opinions
Die hard Britain First members have today confirmed that there is absolutely no point in trying to get them to change their opinions by...
Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels
Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels.
The news comes following the companies use...
New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve.
Chief...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
