Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
New London Development Announced
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan
His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement:
"I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
Theresa May wins ‘Person Most Surprised Theresa May is Prime Minister’ Award seventh week...
Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister...
Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke
Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke.
“Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....
Jeremy Corbyn washes the muddy feet of Glastonbury goers
This year's Glastonbury festival has turned into something of a spiritual and political awakening of the masses, as Jeremy Corbyn attended the annual arts...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Yes Prime Minister explains the Trident Vote
Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe. Jim Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
Sir Humphrey:...
Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council
On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit
Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
We just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody we don’t execute in the...
Politics - A leading light in the Momentum movement has told The Rochdale Herald that they just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody...
Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award
Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award.
The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...
Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research.
Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...
