Davis defends sub Euro pound

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Minister for Brexiteers, David Davis, has reported that people only getting 90 cents to the Pound is proof that everything is going well...

Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke

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Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke. "Everything was looking good,...
Theresa May

May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister

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Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...

Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP

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UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
Plate of Mince

Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince

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Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...

Labour NEC can take your money and run – rules court of appeal

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The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out...

Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus

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Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus. "It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike" Smith drew...
Trump

Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns

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Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid

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Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...
Teenagers

Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...

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The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

Britain offers to pay off £50 billion European ‘divorce fee’ with jam

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Following the news that Cuba has offered to pay its £222 million Cold War debt to the Czech Republic in Rum, Brexit Secretary, David...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

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The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...

Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

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Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.

Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy

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Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...

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